Same Road I Am On
by Brumeier
Summary: What if Alice and Hatter met as teens, during a difficult time in their lives? Would they still fall for each other? Rated M just in case because I'm not sure how the last chapter will go.
1. First Day

_**Standard Disclaimer**__: I do not own the characters of Hatter or Alice, nor do I have any claim (except emotional) to Wonderland._

**Chapter One – The First Day**

**The Road I'm On**, by 3 Doors Down

_She said life's a lot to think about sometimes  
When you're living in between the lines  
And all the stars they sparkle and shine everyday_

_He said life's so hard to move in sometimes  
When it feels like I'm towin' the line  
And no one even cares to ask me why I feel this way_

_I know you feel helpless now and I know you feel alone  
That's the same road, the same road that I am on_

_He said life's a lot to think about sometimes  
When you keep it all between the lines  
Of everything I want and I want to find, one of these days_

_What you thought was real in life somehow steered you wrong  
Now you just keep drivin' tryin' to find out where you belong_

_I know you feel helpless now and I know you feel alone  
That's the same road, that same road that I am on_

_What you thought was real in life somehow steered you wrong  
Now you just keep drivin' tryin' to find out where you belong_

_I know you feel helpless now and I know you feel alone  
That's the same road, that same road that I am on_

Alice sat on the bus seat, her legs drawn up underneath her. She kept a close eye out the window, feeling excited and anxious and afraid, all at once. Logically she knew that there was no way her mother would find her here; she was still at Mrs. Kelsey's house, working on the fundraiser until at least six. Still, she wouldn't relax until the bus pulled away.

"Can I sit here?"

A boy stood in the aisle, shifting uncertainly from foot to foot. At first glance, Alice was inclined to send him looking for another seat. He was dressed weird – brown pants that looked too tight, a loud silk shirt with green and yellow paisleys on it, and some kind of straw hat on his head. But then she looked beyond the clothes to the face. He was definitely a hottie, and didn't look much older than Alice herself. Maybe seventeen or eighteen. He had an adorable British accent.

"Sure," she replied with a shrug.

A little eye-candy sure wouldn't be bad, as long as he wasn't too annoying or anything. Alice turned back to the window as the boy sat down and stowed some kind of bag under the seat. The seats were close together, and he bumped repeatedly against her shoulder.

"Sorry," he apologized.

Alice shrugged again. Hottie or not, she really wasn't in the mood to talk right now. The longer it took to get moving, the more certain she became that her mother would find her note and come drag her off the bus. Mentally she berated herself; she should've mailed the note, given herself more time to get away.

"Stupid," she muttered to herself.

"You talking to me?" the boy asked, his eyes narrowed.

"No. Sorry. Just talking to myself."

"Talk quieter."

Alice exchanged a glare with him before pressing herself closer to the window. She should've told him to find another seat. The bus was crowded, but it wasn't full. Maybe he'd decide to move on his own if she just ignored him.

Then finally…finally!...the bus started to move. Alice let out a breath and closed her eyes. She was on her way, and there was nothing to stop her now. She reached down into her backpack, which was bulging at her feet, and pulled out her iPod. She popped in the ear buds and rested her head against the window. Incubus started singing about taking the wheel and steering, and Alice nodded in time with the music. That's exactly what she was doing – making her own decisions, doing what she wanted to do.

She felt a tap on her shoulder and looked over at the boy, who was staring at her. She pulled one of the buds out.

"What?"

"What is that?" he asked.

"What is what?"

He pointed at the iPod. Alice almost laughed, but he looked so serious. Had he really never seen an iPod? Did he live under a rock?

"It's my iPod. Not one of the fancy ones, but I like it." She had in fact saved up half the money to pay for it, and her mother had given her the other half for her birthday.

"What does it do?" the boy asked.

Alice looked at him for along moment, then pulled out the other ear bud. "It's music. You listen to it." She handed the buds to him and he hesitantly put them in his own ears.

This time Alice did laugh, at the expression on his face. His eyes were wide as saucers and he had both hands pressed over his ears. He looked really cute just then, and she took a minute to give him a closer study. Big brown eyes, a stubble-covered chin, and brown hair that stuck up all around his hat. Not the kind of guy Alice usually went for, but then the usual guys had been pretty disappointing lately.

"This is bloody brilliant!" he said, too loudly. Alice took the ear buds back.

"It's just an iPod." Alice flicked it on pause. "Don't you have MP3 players where you come from?"

"No."

"Yeah, well, welcome to the 21st century."

"The what?"

"Forget it." Alice popped the ear buds back in and started the music up again. This guy wasn't exactly a brainiac, but she hoped he'd get the hint. She sighed when he tapped her on the shoulder again.

"What?"

"Could I…could I listen some more?"

Alice started to say no, but the look of longing in his eyes made her feel guilty. It wasn't her fault he didn't have an iPod, but that didn't mean she couldn't be nice about it. She kept the left ear bud in and passed him the other one. He gave her a tentative smile and Alice shrugged, embarrassed. She adjusted a bit in the seat so she was closer and the cord didn't need to stretch as far.

"Thanks," the boy said. "My name's Hatter, by the way."

"Alice," she replied.

Hatter's eyes widened a bit again, but then he just leaned back in the seat and enjoyed his half of the music.

Alice closed her eyes and tried not to mind sharing the ear buds, even though it felt strange to have the music only coming in one ear. Her mother wouldn't approve of her being so friendly with a stranger, which only made her feel better about doing so. Sixteen wasn't too young to be in charge of her own life, no matter what anyone said.

"It's my life," Alice murmured under her breath.

*o*o*o*

"Alice? We've stopped."

Alice woke up and blinked her eyes. She was embarrassed to find that she'd fallen asleep with her head on Hatter's shoulder, and jerked upright in her seat.

"Where are we?" She looked out the window and saw they were at some kind of rest stop along the highway. A quick glance at her watch told her it was twenty of ten.

"I think the driver said…um…Pen…Pencil…"

"Pennsylvania," Alice supplied. She motioned for Hatter to move out into the aisle and followed him, stretching to get out some of the stiffness from sitting so long. They'd transferred busses in Philly over two hours ago; how the heck big was Pennsylvania?

"Twenty minute stop," Hatter said.

"Great." Alice grabbed her backpack and slipped it on. Hatter started to follow her. "Hey, don't leave your bag. Someone could steal your stuff."

She got off the bus and took in a lungful of fresh air. Oh, that was good! She wished she'd had enough money for a plane ticket…this drive was going to take forever. Alice headed into the rest station and made right for the bathroom. There was one on the bus, of course, but she was hoping to avoid having to use it; the smell was not good.

Hatter followed her through the door of the ladies room and she pushed him back out.

"Can't you read?" She pointed to the other door. "Boys in there, girls in here. Jeez."

Alice took a little extra time to brush her hair and braid it up for the night so she wouldn't have to deal with big knots in the morning. She also washed her face and brushed her teeth.

When she left the bathroom, she found Hatter contemplating the vending machines. Apparently he'd been able to figure that out, at least, since he already had a bottle of Gatorade in one hand. Now he was studying the candy.

"What do you like?" Hatter asked.

Alice looked over the selections. "I like the Crunch bars."

Hatter got two and handed her one. "Thanks for sharing your music."

"You don't have to," Alice said.

"I know."

"Well, thanks. I'll save it for tomorrow. Already brushed my teeth." Alice looked out the door and saw that people were starting to board the bus. "We better go. I hear they'll leave you behind if you don't get back on right away."

Hatter trailed her back to the bus and let her slide into her seat before he plopped back down in his. Alice tried to get comfortable, propping herself partly against the window and folding her legs up under her. She watched, amused, as Hatter tried the Crunch bar; his grin after the first bite was so big that it popped out a dimple Alice hadn't noticed before.

"You've so much good stuff here," he remarked.

"I guess," Alice said. She'd never really thought about it before. Still, if he'd never seen an iPod or eaten a Crunch bar, she wasn't sure what his hometown had to offer. Maybe they were all farmers or fishermen or something. Hatter certainly didn't look like he belonged to either of those groups, though.

"I'm gonna get some sleep," she said. "You want the iPod?"

"No, thanks. Think I'll read a bit." Hatter pulled his bag onto his lap. Alice couldn't help leaning over a bit, trying to get a look inside; all she could see was books. He pulled one out and stowed the bag. "Will the light bother you?"

"Nope." Alice got back into position and closed her eyes.

"Want me to wake you if the bus stops again?"

"Nope."

"Oh. Okay. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

The bus started up again and they were soon underway. Alice opened her eyes, just a little, and saw that Hatter was already engrossed in his book. She couldn't make out the title, but it looked old. He looked awfully cute sitting there, lit up by the overhead light and little else. She smiled to herself as she closed her eyes and settled in to try and get some sleep.

* * *

_**AN:**__ Special thanks to Kittyinaz who suggested this song. And for all their help in developing this little story, I have to thank Alaina Downs, Celticbriarrose, Kittyinaz, Smiles2Go, and my wonderful hubby._

_The song Alice listens to on her iPod is Drive, by Incubus. It was one of the many songs in contention for official fic song. Also suggested by Kittyinaz._

_I have never taken an overnight bus trip, much less one cross-country, so I'm totally pulling this out of my head. I referred to a few websites for general info, but the rest is complete fiction. So before you say anything…yes, I know there are probably mistakes._

_This was originally going to be in with the song fics, but it started taking on a life of its own. This will be five chapters total, and I hope you like this alternate take on how Alice and Hatter met. Please review and tell me what you think…feedback is my friend!_


	2. Second Day

**Chapter Two – The Second Day**

The bus had stopped, which is what woke Alice. She had no idea what time it was, just that it was still dark out and it felt like she hadn't been asleep for long. She'd known the bus was going to make a lot of stops on the trip cross-country, but she hadn't realized how annoying it would be. Especially when she was trying to sleep.

Alice turned her little reading light on, then looked over at Hatter and smothered a laugh. He'd reclined his seat and was sprawled half in it and half in the aisle. His head lolled to the side, hair sticking up in crazy spikes. She saw that his hat had fallen to the floor and picked it up for him. The book he'd been reading was face down on his lap and after a moment Alice gingerly removed that as well; she was curious to see what kind of book he liked to read.

_Fall of the Red King: Wonderland History Volume 17_. With a frown, Alice flipped through it, grimacing at all the tightly packed text. Wonderland? Like _Alice in Wonderland_? She looked over at her sleeping neighbor again. His name was Hatter. Like the Mad Hatter?

Alice was more than familiar with the story; she and her father had been reading it before he…when she was younger. Maybe her mother had been right about talking to strangers. Maybe Hatter was some kind of loony. Only, he didn't seem like a loony. A little strange, but that was probably because this was his first visit to America. Probably people in England were more into the whole Wonderland thing, since it started there.

She went to put the book back, and heard Hatter moan in his sleep. She froze for a second, guilty, but he just twitched and turned a bit on his side. Alice changed her mind and put the book on top of his bag instead.

"…stop…" Hatter mumbled. He twisted in his seat and his shirt rode up over his ribs; they were pretty bruised, though some of it was already fading green and yellow. Alice's heart instantly went out to him. Was he running away, like she was? Whatever it was he was doing here, she couldn't stand to see him like that and pushed at his shoulder.

"Wake up, Hatter."

Hatter sat up with a choked snort, hands up defensively. Alice leaned back, ready to block in case he took a swing at her, but he seemed to realize where he was and his hands dropped limply into his lap.

"Where are we?"

"No clue," Alice said. She handed him back his hat, which he flipped up on his head with a flick of his wrist.

"Wow!" Alice has never seen anyone do that with a hat before. "That was cool."

"That was nothing," Hatter grinned. He plucked the hat back off his head with two fingers and set it spinning, then rolled it up his arm and back down again.

"Where'd you learn how to do that?"

"Taught myself."

"Cool." Alice watched as he did a few more fancy moves with the hat before settling it back on his head. "Can you do any other tricks?"

Hatter raised his eyebrow and gave her a look that made her blush. "Yep." He popped the P, looking all smug. Alice rolled her eyes.

"I'm going to find the bus driver and see where we are," she decided. She pushed past Hatter and stepped off the bus. It was chilly, and she wished she'd put her coat on first. Oh, well. She found the driver leaning against a lamp post, smoking.

"Sir? Where are we?"

The driver, a slightly overweight man with thinning hair and a pleasant face, stood up and took a long drag off his cigarette.

"Pittsburgh."

Alice groaned. "We're still in Pennsylvania?"

"I know. It's a long state. Don't worry, our next stop is in Ohio. In about three and a half hours."

"Thank you."

Since Alice was up, she went to the bathroom. There wasn't anything else open at the rest stop at this hour, which was fine with her; she was really tired and just wanted to get back to sleep. But once she was back on the bus, she found she couldn't get the image of those bruises out of her head.

"So, where you going?" she asked Hatter, who was rifling through his bag.

"Out…um…out west. Utah?"

"What's in Utah?" Alice asked, curious. Hatter looked up at her, eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Where're _you_ going?" he countered.

"Los Angeles. I'm going to live with my aunt." Alice didn't feel the need to add that Aunt Patty didn't necessarily know she was coming. It was a small detail she hoped wouldn't matter once she got there.

"Where's your parents?" Hatter asked. He pulled his half-full Gatorade out of the bag and finished it off with one long swallow.

"Where's yours?"

They glared at each other for a long moment, and then Alice wedged herself back in the corner, trying to get her seat reclined just enough to be moderately comfortable. She was annoyed with Hatter for being so secretive. It wasn't like she was going to tell anyone. She thought again of those bruises, and wondered if maybe he had a reason not to trust her. Maybe the person who had hurt him was looking for him.

"I bet it's nice there, in Utah," Alice said, feeling the need to say something. "Really warm."

Hatter glanced over at her. "I guess."

Alice rested her head on the seat, watching Hatter as he repacked his bag. "Do you ever feel like there's a place you have to be, somewhere where everything will make sense if you can only get there?"

"Yeah." Hatter rested back in his seat and turned his head so that they were both looking at each other. "That's what's in Utah."

"I'm hoping that's what's in LA, too." Alice tugged the end of her braid with one hand. "My dad…he disappeared six years ago."

"Are you looking for him?"

"No. Well, I was. Now I just want to…I don't know. Not have to worry about stuff? That sounds lame."

"What about your mum?" Hatter asked softly. The passengers who'd gotten off the bus were starting to get back on.

"She's back in New York. She kind of doesn't know I'm here." And there was a lot of guilt there, but Alice was trying hard not to think about how worried her mom might be. "She just doesn't get me, you know? All we do is fight. And ever since my dad left…she just…she wants me to do everything. You know? Like I'm supposed to pick up his slack or something."

Alice felt a tear slip down her cheek and swiped angrily at it. She didn't want to cry, especially not in front of Hatter. It sounded so lame when she said it out loud, but it was true. Her mother made her do the grocery shopping, made her get an after-school job to help pay the bills…it was like she wasn't allowed to be sixteen. All her friends were going out to parties and everything, and she was stuck at home most of the time. It wasn't fair.

"I know how you feel," Hatter said, his eyes full of sympathy. "It's the same for me, yeah? My…my brother, he basically raised me. But he's always pushing me, always wanting me to do more and more. I've no life of my own."

Alice nodded. Was it his brother that had put those bruises on him? She burned with anger on his behalf. She didn't know him, not really, but no-one deserved that.

"I hope we find what we're looking for," Alice whispered. Hatter smiled at her.

"Me too."

"You want the iPod?"

"Yeah."

Alice handed it to him, and hoped the music would help him to sleep a bit sounder this time. She didn't want him to have any more bad dreams.

*o*o*o*

They were just rolling into Columbus when Alice woke again. Sometime in the last few hours she'd stretched her legs out so that they were in Hatter's lap. He didn't seem to mind; his was using them for a book rest.

"Good morning, Alice," Hatter said with a grin. He patted her on the knee. "Comfy?"

"Stiff," Alice replied shortly. She pulled her legs back and rolled her shoulders, trying to work the kinks out. She vowed never again to travel by bus; her backside was going numb. It was shortly after seven and the sky was just starting to lighten.

"I hope we stop soon," Hatter said, folding down the corner of the page he was reading. "I'm a bit peckish."

"You're a bit what?"

"Peckish. Hungry." Hatter rubbed his stomach for emphasis. "Could do with a hot meal."

Alice nodded her agreement. She could definitely go for a nice, hot breakfast. Not to mention a quick scrub-up; she hated feeling grubby. The bus pulled into the Greyhound station and the driver announced that they'd be leaving again in just over an hour.

"I saw an eating place down the street," Hatter said as they disembarked. "I'll get us a table, shall I? While you wash up?"

"Okay."

They walked in companionable silence until they got to the diner. Hatter held the door open for her and Alice headed straight for the restroom. After taking care of pressing business, she pulled her washcloth out of the Ziploc bag and quickly washed her face, her neck and her armpits. She brushed out her hair, wavy now from being braided all night. Put on fresh deodorant, brushed her teeth, and changed her shirt. Feeling refreshed, she went in search of Hatter.

He waved at her from a booth across the room and she joined him just as the waitress brought two cups of hot tea.

"Didn't know if you liked tea," Hatter said. "So just in case."

"No, tea's okay. Thanks." Alice quickly scanned the menu and placed her order. Once the waitress left, she dumped six packets of sugar into her tea while Hatter looked on with a grin.

"You like it sweet."

"It's the only way I can drink it," Alice admitted. She took a sip, enjoying the warmth of it flowing down her throat.

"While we wait for the food, I'll just get cleaned up a bit myself." Hatter slipped out of the booth, and Alice watched him go. Those tight pants certainly gave her a nice view.

By the time Hatter returned, skin flushed from scrubbing and his hair gleaming wet, the waitress had brought their breakfasts. Hatter immediately tucked into something called a Farmer's Special, which seemed to be various types of meat. Alice had a stack of French toast which she poured generous amounts of maple syrup on.

"Bit of a sweet tooth," Hatter remarked.

They didn't much more talking, just focused on eating. Alice kept a close eye on the time – she didn't want to be left behind by the bus. They ended up cutting it close, though, and had to leave the tip and race back to the station; they were the last ones on the bus, and collapsed gasping into their seats.

"So much…for a leisurely…breakfast…" Alice panted.

Hatter grinned.

*o*o*o*

It had been a long drive from Columbus to St. Louis, even with the nap Alice had taken. She and Hatter had switched off with the iPod, and he had loaned her one of his books to read; a slim volume called _Wonderland Tales_. Alice found herself actually enjoying the often-silly short stories about the King of Clubs and the Diamond King. The author, who was listed as Anonymous, had hilarious asides scattered throughout each story and Alice found herself frequently laughing out loud.

They had a whole two hours in St. Louis, more than enough time to grab some dinner. Alice had something she needed to do first, though, and she'd put it off long enough. As soon as they got off the bus, she pulled her cell phone out of her backpack and turned it on. Hatter was immediately intrigued.

"What is that?" he asked.

Alice frowned at him. It was one thing not to know about iPods, but a cell phone? Was he the British equivalent to the Amish or something?

"It's a cell phone." Prompted by his completely blank look, she found herself trying to explain. "You can talk to people on it. Like, I call my friends. Or they can call me."

"So it's a communication device?" Hatter turned it around in his hands, his finger lightly touching the buttons but not pushing anything.

"Right. And I have five messages I need to check before I turn it off, so hand it over."

Hatter watched her curiously while she listened to the messages. Four were from her mother, in various states of anger and distress. Alice cringed as she listened to them.

_"Alice Anne Hamilton, you call me as soon as you get this or I'm going to call the police and have them track you down and arrest you! I'm not kidding! You have no idea the kind of trouble you're in, young lady!"_

The last message was from her friend Lena, asking her to please call and let her know she was okay. She was the one Alice decided to call back.

"Hey, Lena, it's Alice…yes, I'm fine…tell her you talked to me and everything's okay…no…no!...I'll call her when I get there. Look, I…yes, I will. Thanks, Lena."

Alice switched the phone back off with a sigh and dropped it in her backpack. Hatter was perched on the back of a bench, watching her.

"Is your mum mad?"

"She's way beyond mad." Alice started walking and Hatter quickly joined her. "It's okay. Lena will handle it. And when I get to LA I'll talk to her."

Besides, Alice was sure that by the time she got to Aunt Patty's house, her mom would understand that it was best for everyone. They clearly weren't getting along anyway, and she figured her mother would enjoy a break from all the arguing.

Hatter treated her to dinner that night, just burgers and milkshakes at another little diner. Alice wondered how much money he had; her own meager amount was dwindling fast, and she hoped she'd have enough to make it all the way to LA with. She's packed some snacks and granola bars, but nothing beat a hot meal. Especially after sitting on a bus all day.

"There's so much food here," Hatter remarked as he ate his last French fry. "And meat. I've not seen so much meat!"

"Where are you from?" Alice asked. Clearly not a farmer, she thought. Or else they only raised vegetables.

"You'll not have heard of it," Hatter said. "There's a lot of food rationing, though. And meat is a particular hardship; when you do find it, it's usually smoked. Nothing fresh."

"That sounds depressing," Alice said.

"It is." Hatter looked at her across the table, his intense gaze making her uncomfortable. "Do you have a…what do you call it. Boyfriend?"

Alice choked on her milkshake. "No. I mean, I did, just…I don't have one right now."

"Why not? You're very pretty."

Alice blushed, and dropped her gaze down to her now-empty plate. "I was going out with this guy named Troy, but we broke up a couple weeks ago."

"Why?" Hatter asked.

"Conflict of interests," Alice replied. She started shredding her napkin. The main conflict was the fact that Troy had been pushing her to have sex and she just wasn't interested in giving up her virginity. Not to him, anyway.

"You must have a lot of guys chasing you," Hatter said.

"No, not really. Most guys think I'm too much of a tomboy."

"What's that?"

"A girl who acts like a boy. Like, I'm really good at sports and stuff. I have a black belt in karate. And I don't do a lot of girly things, like makeup and dresses and stuff." She didn't add that her small boobs and boyish build certainly didn't help things. Compared to curvy Lena, Alice often felt plain and forgettable.

"Maybe it'll be different in LA," Hatter said. "If I lived there, I'd take you out."

"What makes you think I'd go out with you?" Alice teased. Inside, her heart was racing. Hatter was a little weird, but the fact that he thought she was pretty put a giggly feeling in her stomach.

"You're out with me right now," Hatter said with a grin.

"Well, it was either you or the old lady two rows back."

"I'm much cuter."

Alice rolled her eyes, though she totally agreed with him. "How about you? Lots of girlfriends, I'll bet."

Hatter shrugged. "Two or three. Nothing serious. I've not met a girl yet to get serious with."

"Are you in a hurry or something?"

"Nope. I've still got two days." Hatter winked at her and Alice couldn't help but laugh.

*o*o*o*

Alice was having trouble getting to sleep. She'd finished the book, she'd chatted a bit with Hatter, and now had all her slow songs playing on the iPod; nothing helped, not even the steady motion of the bus. She longed for a bed, where she could just stretch out. Sleeping on the bus sucked.

"What's wrong?" Hatter asked. Alice was sure he was getting annoyed with her constant fidgeting.

"I can't sleep. Can't get comfortable on this stupid bus."

Hatter gave her a speculative look, then tucked his book away. He pulled out his jacket, folded it up, and put it on his lap.

"Stretch out," he said, patting the jacket.

Alice blushed. "No, thanks."

"I promise I'll be good." And he certainly looked sincere. There wouldn't be all that much stretching – the seats were small – but the thought of lying flat was far too appealing.

Feeling self-conscious, Alice flipped up the middle arm rest and lay down, her legs curled up on her seat and her head on the jacket in Hatter's lap. She worried about where he'd put his hand, but it settled lightly on her shoulder and didn't move.

"How's that?" he asked.

"Good. Thanks."

The silence between them was a bit awkward this time. Alice couldn't think of anything to say, so she just closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep. She heard Hatter click off the reading light, and felt him shift a bit as he reclined the seat.

"Are you sure this is okay?" Alice whispered.

"It's fine. Get some sleep."

Finally, she could feel the exhaustion of the day washing over her. She never realized that a lack of activity could be so tiring. It was certainly more comfortable, lying this way. The heat from Hatter's palm seeped through her shirt and into her skin, a comfortingly secure feeling.

Just before Alice fell asleep, she could feel Hatter's other hand lightly stroking her hair. And that was nice too.

* * *

_**AN:**__ The book Hatter loans Alice, Wonderland Tales, is based on the mini-stories in Live4Sunshine's fic _To Entertain A Legend_. Good stuff there!_

_The universe of this fic crosses a bit with _Deconstructing Hatter_, in that March has saved Hatter's life and raised him up like a brother. But when March starts getting self-destructive and abusive, Hatter leaves Wonderland instead of striking out on his own and getting a job at the Tea Shop. Just in case you were wondering about the bit with the brother._

_Special thanks to Celticbriarrose for letting me borrow her giggly stomach. Falling for Hatter – I think it applies! LOL!_


	3. Third Day

**Chapter ****Three – The Third Day**

Alice was a little shy with Hatter the following morning. She'd actually had a really decent few hours of sleep using him as a pillow, and enjoyed waking up with his arm draped across her. It was almost…intimate. If he was feeling just as awkward, it certainly didn't show. In fact, Hatter was smiling at her a lot more.

The battery in the iPod died out in Kansas, and there were no outlets to plug it into to charge it back up. Alice packed it away with a sigh. Hatter offered her another book to read, but she declined; the rest looked much like the history book he was reading. So she looked out the window and watched the sun come up.

"Do you have family in Utah?" Alice asked after a while. She turned to sit with her back against the window and her knees up.

"No," Hatter replied, marking his page in the book with his finger.

"Why are you going there? I mean, of all the places you could go, why Utah?" Alice didn't actually know too much about Utah, except that it was one of those desert states and a lot of Mormons lived there.

"There's a place there, for people like me," Hatter explained. "People who need to start over."

"Is it like a church or something?"

"It's a town. Cheshire Falls. They'll help me figure things out here, like your iPod. Help me find a job." His eyes got a faraway look. "They say I can do anything here. Anything I want. Maybe…maybe even go to school."

"Yeah, I can't wait to go to college," Alice said. "Living on my own, doing what I want to do. There's great colleges out in California. Maybe…you could go to one of those."

Hatter grinned. "Maybe I could."

Alice hesitated a minute before asking her next question. She didn't want to pry, but she couldn't help being curious.

"Are you worried? That your brother will find you?"

Hatter's smile faded, and he looked away.

"No. I'm not worried about that."

"I'm sorry," Alice said. She put her hand on his arm. "It's just…I saw your bruise, and assumed…"

"There's no reason for March to come here," Hatter said quietly. "Even if he did, Cheshire Falls is kind of a secret, yeah? It's a safe place."

"I'm sorry," Alice said again. Hatter turned to look at her, and gave her a soft smile.

"That's okay. I've nothing to hide, not here." Hatter looked down at her hand, and she hastily withdrew it. "Do you think your mum will come get you?"

Alice shook her head. "No. We're always fighting. I think she'll just be happy I'm somewhere else. You know the worst part?"

She looked down at her hands, ashamed. "She makes it so I have to defend my dad all the time. I can't be mad at him, because she's already so angry. And sometimes…sometimes I'm really, really mad. Sometimes I hate him for leaving, even though I'm sure he had a reason."

It was the worst admission, the one only Lena knew. She didn't know why she was telling Hatter, except that he just seemed to easy to talk to. Alice had always been an advocate for her father, always insisted that something terrible had happened and that he hadn't left of his own free will. But after six years, it was getting harder and harder for her to maintain her belief. And she resented her mother for never once seeming to consider that something may have happened to him; she always thought the worst of him, and it was up to Alice to be the one on his side.

Hatter reached out and took her hand in his, wrapping his fingers around hers. For some reason, it made Alice want to cry; she swallowed her tears, as she always did.

"It's okay to be angry," he said. "March saved my life. I owe him everything. But he's changed, and I hate who he is now. I've a right to my anger, despite all that he's done for me. And so do you."

"We've got a lot in common," Alice said.

"Yeah."

They sat in silence for a little while, holding hands. Alice wondered what kind of a kisser Hatter was. She didn't have a whole lot of experience in that area, mostly just enough to know what she didn't like. When she kissed Troy, she always felt like she needed to have a towel on hand to dry off with afterwards. It was gross. And Hal, the guy she'd sort of dated before Troy, had tight lips; kissing him had been like kissing a block of wood.

"I wish you could come to Utah with me," Hatter said suddenly.

"You do?" Alice asked, smiling.

"If you were there, I'd have a friend. Maybe…more than a friend."

"Well, we did already have a date," Alice said.

"We did?"

"You bought me dinner, remember? That counts."

Hatter grinned. "Does that mean we get to do the first kiss?"

Alice instantly became flustered, but when she tried to pull her hand back Hatter just squeezed it and held on.

"What's the matter? Don't you want to kiss me?" His voice was teasing, but his eyes had that same longing in them Alice had seen the first day. Would it really be that bad, kissing Hatter? It couldn't be any worse than kissing Troy.

Sucking up her courage, Alice leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. Whatever she'd been expecting, it was nothing like what she got. Hatter's lips were _so_ soft, and it wasn't long before he'd turned a chaste kiss into something else. Something that sent shivers through Alice, and made her feel things she'd never felt before.

"Wow," she breathed when they came up for air. Hatter looked into her eyes, his lips curved up in a grin. He kissed her again, and his free hand moved up to cup her cheek. And on the road between Kansas and Colorado they became something more than traveling companions, something more than just friends.

*o*o*o*

Alice took extra care washing up in the bathroom, particularly when brushing her teeth. She even attempted to wash her hair with hand soap. Her trip had certainly taken an unexpected turn. She didn't think she'd been kissed as much in her whole life as she had been so far today. And Hatter was really, really good at it. But it was more than just the kissing. It was that he really understood her, knew how she was feeling. For that she was willing to overlook the crazy shirts.

Hatter was waiting with two bagels when she finished cleaning up. He stole another kiss before he'd let her have hers, and Alice felt a glow growing inside her. She made a concerted effort not to think about the fact that this was their last full day together.

"Mmm…minty," he said. He himself tasted like tea, a flavor that was definitely starting to grow on Alice.

They walked around the Denver station together, eating their bagels and people watching. Not for the first time, Alice wished she'd brought a camera. Not just for all the pretty scenery she'd seen along the way, but because she wished she could have a picture of Hatter.

"Your world is so big," he said, looking out a window at the Rocky Mountains. "How do you see it all?"

Alice shrugged. "This is the most of it I've ever seen. Mom and I don't get out of New York too much. And this is just the middle anyway. There's 50 states, you know."

Hatter looked suitably impressed. "Are they all so big?"

"No. Some are really small, like Delaware and Rhode Island. I think Texas is the biggest one; they could probably be their own country."

"Texas," Hatter murmured. "I want to see them all."

"I just wouldn't recommend a bus trip for that," Alice laughed. Hatter grinned down at her and kissed her forehead.

"Why not? This one's been lucky for me."

Alice giggled. "I guarantee – the next time you'll be stuck sitting next to fat guy for four days."

Hatter laughed. "Can't tell you how glad I am you're not a fat guy."

"Me too." Alice wrapped one arm around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder. They looked out the window together, taking in a view of Denver before they'd have to get back on the bus.

*o*o*o*

"Tell me about where you're from," Alice said. She was curled up at Hatter's side, her head resting in the crook of his neck. He ran one hand through her still-damp hair, gently pulling out any knots he encountered.

"March and I live in a city. There wasn't a lot of room to build it out, so they built up. I've not seen anything here quite like it, at least not so far, though your city came close. It's so high you can get above the clouds; you can see everything from there. It's beautiful."

"You miss it," Alice said.

"Sometimes. It was my home, yeah? You'll miss New York, I think."

"I guess." But Alice already did. These wide open spaces made her nervous; she preferred the closed-in streets of the city, where the buildings loomed tall. She hoped LA was like that, too. She was a city girl for sure.

"Do you think you'll ever go back there?" she asked. She hoped not. Utah and California weren't exactly neighbors, but Alice had the hope that she'd be able to see Hatter again. If he went back to whatever strange place in England he was from, she'd probably never see him again.

"Dunno. Probably not. There's nothing there for me anymore. If there ever was."

Alice hated the sad tone in his voice, so she kissed her way up his jaw and back to his mouth. This was the kind of kissing she'd read about in books, the kind that made her bones go all soft and mushy, the kind that made her want to do things she'd never wanted to do with Troy.

Clearly Hatter was of the same mind, because his hand was skimming up under her shirt, coming to rest on her rib cage, just below her bra. Alice breath caught, and quickened. She wanted more, but she was scared of it at the same time, and so she pulled back.

"Too much?" Hatter said softly.

Alice blushed, feeling foolish. "I'm not sure I'm ready for that. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry." Hatter slowly withdrew his hand, sending shivers up Alice's spine.

"I've never…you know. Done it." Alice could feel her face burning with embarrassment. "Troy wanted to, but…it wasn't right."

"I'll never hurt you, Alice," Hatter murmured in her ear. He sounded completely sincere, but she knew he was lying. Because tomorrow he'd be gone, and that would hurt her. A lot.

"Stop talking," Alice said. She kissed him, a bit fiercely, and this time he kept his hands outside her shirt.

*o*o*o*

The bus stopped in Grand Junction around dinner time, but they only had forty-five minutes. Just long enough for bathroom breaks and to pick up some fast food from the nearby Chick-Fil-A to eat on the bus. Alice could feel her mood turning sour; it was like she could hear her time with Hatter ticking away. He was getting off in St. George and that was only about seven hours away. Not enough time.

"The driver says we'll be in Utah soon," Hatter said. He passed Alice her chicken sandwich.

"Are you nervous?"

"A little. Wish you were coming."

"Me too," Alice said. She chewed despondently on a French fry. "I'm worried my aunt won't let me stay with her. What if she makes me go home?"

"No-one can make you do what you don't want to do."

"It's not that easy," Alice said. "I don't know how things are where you come from, but here I'm not legally allowed to make my own decisions until I'm eighteen."

"What? That's mad!"

"That's life." Alice shoved her sandwich back in the bag; she'd lost her appetite. "I'd have to really run away, to someplace where no-one knows me."

"Don't do that, Alice," Hatter said, sounding anxious. "Promise me you won't. I've lived on my own, had to steal just to get by. You're too good for that kind of life."

Alice's lip trembled. It was so nice to have someone care so much about her; it had been a long time since she'd felt that way. She thought about him having to live on the streets, alone, and she couldn't hold back her tears anymore.

"Please don't cry." Hatter's own eyes were bright with tears, for what Alice wasn't sure. She hugged him, pressing her face into his neck.

"I'm sorry," she sniffled.

"I wish I could take your sadness away," Hatter whispered. "I wish I could make everything right for you."

"You make it better," Alice said. She kissed his cheek.

"What a pair we are." Hatter stroked her hair. "What will I do without you?"

Alice laughed, and pulled back, brushing the tears from her face. "Hopefully you'll learn how to use a phone. Here."

She dug through her backpack until she found a piece of paper and a pen. She scribbled her cell number and her name on it, and handed it to Hatter.

"This is my phone number. If you promise to call me, I promise to leave it turned on."

Hatter took the paper and tucked it carefully into his shirt pocket. "It'll be the first thing I learn," he promised.

Feeling reassured Alice reached for the food bag; her appetite had returned. They ate in silence, arms pressed together as they sat side by side. Alice chided herself for being so melodramatic. Once Hatter got the hang of the phone, she'd ease him into e-mail and Facebook. No-one was that far away anymore, no matter what state they were in. Maybe they could even Skype.

"If they're not nice to you in Cheshire Falls, you call and tell me," Alice said. "And I'll come and rescue you."

Hatter grinned at her. "I think you would, too."

*o*o*o*

Almost everyone else on the bus was asleep, their lights turned off. Alice had decided she wasn't going to sleep at all, not with Hatter's stop coming up so soon. He was in her seat, back to the window and legs stretched out into the aisle, and Alice lounged against him. She had one hand on his chest and the other toyed with his spiky hair.

"Never knew you could have so much fun on a bus," Hatter said, nibbling on Alice's bottom lip.

"Me either." Tentatively, Alice pushed up Hatter's shirt and ran her fingertips over his bruise. He became still under her hand.

"I'm sorry for this," Alice said. "Sorry you had that happen to you."

Hatter lifted one shoulder in a lopsided shrug. "I got used to it."

Alice thought she'd never heard anything so terrible in her whole life. How did you get used to being beaten up? Impulsively, she bent down and kissed the bruise. Hatter twitched.

"Alice…" he breathed. He captured her lips, kissing her hard. His hands were everywhere at once, and quite suddenly Alice decided she wanted that…and more. This time when he slipped up under her shirt, she made encouraging noises.

She never thought a boy's hands on her could feel so good. Troy had made some clumsy attempts that had just ended up hurting, but Hatter's every touch left a pleasurable trail of fire on her skin. Alice finally understood what the other girls in her class raved about when they talked about their sex lives. And Hatter hadn't even gone below her waistband.

"Hatter," Alice breathed. "I want…I want…"

Hatter left off his explorations of her breasts, and brushed the hair back from her face. He gave her a look full of desire and affection and apology.

"We'll not do that here," he whispered. "Your first time'll not be on a bloody bus."

Alice breathed heavily, caught in a whirlwind of emotions. Primary amongst them was disappointment. She'd never made a conscious plan regarding her virginity, like some girls she knew; she wasn't saving herself for marriage or anything as old-fashioned as that. But neither did she expect that she'd be willing to give it away at sixteen, to someone she'd just met. On a bus.

"It's not that I don't want to," Hatter said quietly, his thumbs making little circles over her cheekbones. "Your first time should be special."

"Was yours?" Alice asked after a moment, when she'd caught her breath.

"Well, it was memorable," Hatter grinned. "But not special. There was no feeling in it, yeah? Just the sex."

"We're almost out of time," Alice said sadly.

"When it's right, there'll be all the time in the world." Hatter kissed her, soft and sweet now, and tucked her against his shoulder. "You're beautiful, you know."

"No I'm not." Alice closed her eyes, listening to Hatter's heart beat.

"Well, maybe it's just me then," Hatter chuckled. He kissed the top of her head.

As the bus made its way closer to St. George, Alice and Hatter talked quietly of nothing important and enjoyed what little time they had left together.

* * *

_**AN:**__ I hope Alice and Hatter's relationship didn't seem too rushed. I mean, given the circumstances they did need to move things along, but hopefully in a believable way. After all, it didn't take them long in the movie to get to that almost-kiss._

_Some persons, who shall remain unnamed, wanted Alice and Hatter to have sex on the bus. Tsk, tsk! You deviants! LOL! That wasn't the ambiance I was going for, but I figured I'd throw a little heavy petting in there. Hope that's okay!_


	4. Fourth Day

**Chapter ****Four – The Fourth Day**

It was one o'clock in the morning and Alice was exhausted, but she wouldn't let herself sleep. They were just minutes outside of St. George, where Hatter would be disembarking to find his new home. And leaving her.

"You have my number, right?"

"For the fifth time, yes." Hatter grinned at her, but even in the dim light of the bus she could see that he felt just as bad as she did. They'd only met three days ago, but to Alice it felt much longer. And at the same time not nearly long enough.

"You'll call me?"

"Promise." Hatter kissed her.

Alice reached into her backpack and pulled out her iPod, the charger and the ear buds. She pressed the whole lot of it into Hatter's hands.

"Take it. So you won't forget me."

Hatter looked down at the iPod and then back at her, his eyes gleaming in the dim light.

"I can't take this, Alice."

"Yes, you can," Alice insisted. "I want you to have it. Just charge it up when you get where you're going."

"Thanks." Hatter carefully stowed the iPod in his own bag, and pulled out a book. _Wonderland Tales_.

"This is for you."

Alice accepted the book with a trembling hand. Hatter flipped it open to the title page, and Alice saw that he'd inscribed it.

_To Alice, my first friend in a new world. I'll never forget you. Love, Hatter_

Alice's tears spilled over. "I wish I could come with you!"

Hatter hugged her tightly. "We'll be together again. I promise."

The bus came to a stop. "St. George," the driver announced. "Ten minutes."

Alice and Hatter left the bus hand in hand. The station was mostly dark, as was St. George. The night air was warm, but not unpleasantly so. Only three other passengers got off the bus, two to smoke a quick cigarette with the driver. Hatter pulled Alice away from the others, into a pool of shadow, and kissed her quite thoroughly.

"Thanks for sharing your music with me," Hatter murmured. "And for being my friend."

"You too," Alice said. She swallowed past the painful lump in her throat and let herself sink into Hatter's arms one last time.

"Hatter?" A voice asked. Alice and Hatter both turned to face an older man with hanging jowls and a stout belly. "Are you Hatter?"

"Yeah."

"I'm Doug. I'm here to take you to Cheshire Falls."

"Give me a minute, yeah?"

The man failed to hold Alice's attention. She told herself not to be clingy, and not to make a scene, but she found it hard to let go of her grip on Hatter's jacket. He kissed her forehead, her cheeks, her nose.

"Call your aunt straightaway when you get to LA, yeah? Make sure she picks you up."

"I will. I'll call her from Barstow, just to be sure."

"Don't run away again, Alice. Promise me."

"I promise." Alice pressed herself against him, breathed in the scent of him one last time. And then forced herself to step back until their only connection was his hand in hers.

"You should go. Find that better life."

"You've already made it better," Hatter said. He squeezed her hand, then dropped it and walked away. He didn't look back.

*o*o*o*

Alice slept through Las Vegas, curled up against the window because it made her too sad to see Hatter's empty seat. She was so tired she nearly slept through Barstow as well, but she got up and dragged herself off the bus for a quick wash and bathroom break. It was five am; three more hours and she'd be in LA.

Back on the bus, Alice pulled out her phone to call Aunt Patty. She probably wouldn't be thrilled to get a call so early, but hopefully she wouldn't mind coming out to pick her up. She needn't have worried; she got voicemail. While she waited for the message to play out, Alice pulled out the book Hatter had given her, her fingers tracing the words he'd written. She almost missed the beep.

"Oh, hi. It's Alice. I'm…I…I need a ride. I kind of…left home and I'm hoping you don't mind if I stay with you for a little while. Can you please pick me up? I'll be at the LA Greyhound station at 8:15. Thanks Aunt Patty!"

Alice left the phone on just in case, and hoped Aunt Patty got the message before she arrived in LA. And even though she knew it was too soon, and he was probably asleep, she couldn't help hoping that Hatter would call. Did he remember to plug in the iPod? Did he have his own room, or was he sleeping on someone's couch?

For the remainder of the trip, Alice alternated between imagining what Hatter was doing and fantasizing about him showing up in LA claiming his undying love for her. When the bus finally did roll into the station, neither Aunt Patty nor Hatter were waiting for her.

"Aunt Viv!"

Alice hurried over to where Aunt Patty's partner waited, her arms crossed and her face stormy.

"Um…nice to see you?" Alice shifted uneasily from foot to foot. Aunt Viv was usually easy-going and soft spoken, but just now she looked incredibly…scary.

"Patty was too angry to pick you up," Aunt Viv said, her voice clipped and icy. "I'm not too happy with you myself, young lady."

Alice looked down at her sneakers. This wasn't at all how she'd expected things to go. Aunt Patty and Aunt Viv would be concerned, of course, but would welcome her with open arms. These arms looked decidedly closed.

"Patty's waiting for you back at the house. We both have a few things to say to you. Let's go." Aunt Viv pivoted on her heel and strode toward the door. Alice sighed and followed. She was suddenly nostalgic for the bus.

*o*o*o*

Alice sat on Aunt Patty's red suede sofa, trying to look as contrite as possible. Her aunt's lengthy diatribe had been going on for some time and Alice had mostly tuned her out. She was selfish, irresponsible, childish and had put herself in a potentially dangerous situation. Her mother was worried sick, hadn't she given a thought to anyone but herself? Blah blah blah. Alice could see the writing on the wall; she knew where this was going. So much for her glamorous new life in California.

"Honest to God, Alice, what was in your head?" Aunt Patty asked, throwing her hands in the air.

"Well, gee, maybe I thought you'd be a little more understanding!" Alice snapped. She crossed her arms over her chest and sunk back into the sofa.

"Alice…"

"Maybe I was tired of having to fill in for Dad. You know what? I'm not Dad. I'm sixteen years old and I never get to go to parties. I never get to do anything! I'm so tired of being punished for what he did."

Aunt Patty's mouth was hanging open in surprise. "Does Carol know you feel this way?"

"I don't know. No. She never listens to anything I say." Alice let the tears come; it wouldn't be the first time she cried with Aunt Patty. "No-one ever cares about what I want."

No-one except Hatter, she thought, and that just made her cry harder. Before she knew it, Aunt Patty and Aunt Viv were sitting with her, one on either side, their arms around her.

"Oh, honey, you know that's not true!" Aunt Viv gave her a squeeze.

"I'm not saying your mother is right," Aunt Patty said. "But you have to try and see things from her point of view. It was very scary for her when your father left. She keeps you close to home because she's afraid of losing you too."

Alice didn't want to consider anyone else's point of view. She was right and her mother was wrong. End of story.

"Leaving the way you did, it frightened her. She thought you'd just disappear the same way Robert did."

A tiny thread of guilt started to creep in, and Alice was too wrung out to fight it. It didn't mean she wanted to go home.

"Let me talk to Carol," Aunt Patty said. "We'll think of something."

"Then I can stay?" Alice asked hopefully.

"You can't run from your problems, Alice," Aunt Viv said softly. "If you do that, you'll just be running forever."

_Like your father_. No-one said the words, but they were clearly there. And as much as Alice wanted to get away from things, she didn't want to disappear the way he did, leaving everyone behind. She saw the pain it caused her mother, and her grandparents, every day. She knew the pain it caused her.

Aunt Patty got up and ran a hand through her short blonde hair. "I'll call your mother, and then we'll have some lunch. Okay? You can tell us all about your trip."

"Okay," Alice agreed. She was glad that Aunt Viv stayed with her on the sofa, glad to have her shoulder to lean on. Even if it wasn't the one she really wanted.

*o*o*o*

Alice lay in the guest bed, happy beyond measure to be able to stretch out her whole length. Aunt Patty sat at the other end, lounging on a pile of pillows. It was late, but they'd had a lot to discuss. Aunt Patty had done all the talking with Alice's mother, and though the agreement they reached wasn't what Alice had wanted, she supposed it was better than nothing.

In two days she'd be heading back to New York. By the time she got home, her mother would have found them a counselor so that hopefully they could improve their relationship and open the lines of communication. That's what Aunt Patty said anyway; Alice was reserving judgment until she saw for herself what her mother was willing to do.

The one thing Aunt Patty had disagreed about was Carol making Alice come home via the bus. Carol claimed it would give Alice plenty of time to think about what she'd done, and what she wanted to do. Alice wasn't fooled, she knew it was punishment for running away. Three more days on the bus, and this time with no Hatter to keep her company.

"Are you still dating Troy?" Aunt Patty asked.

"No. I broke up with him."

"Too handsy?"

Alice rolled her eyes. How was it that Aunt Patty felt so at ease talking about stuff like that, and her own mother had never even felt comfortable enough to talk to her about her period?

"Yeah. He wanted …more. And I didn't."

"You're better off without him, then," Aunt Patty said. "So tell me about him."

"About who?"

"About the new boy. I know you have one, I can see the signs."

Alice laughed. "What are you, psychic or something?"

"Baby, you know I can't tell you my secrets." Aunt Patty wiggled her toes, the blue nail polish winking in the light. "Now spill. I want to know everything."

"I met him on the bus…" Alice started to say, but her aunt cut her off with one horrified look.

"Oh, no, honey! You don't meet people on the bus! That's not how it's done at all!"

"He's not some creepy stalker guy or anything, Aunt Patty. He's…wonderful." Alice sighed. "He's from some weird part of England – he didn't know what a cell phone was, can you imagine? – but he's just the sweetest, most handsome…"

"Hold it." Aunt Patty held up her hand, and leaned forward to get a closer look at Alice's face. "Crap. You really like him, don't you? What's his name?"

"Hatter."

"What?"

"Hatter. His name is Hatter. Yes, I know it's weird. But it totally fits him." Alice felt such a pang of longing for him, it was almost scary in its intensity. She'd had plenty of crushes on boys before, but this was something different.

"I want all the details," Aunt Patty demanded.

And so Alice told her the whole story, with certain exceptions, and showed her the inscription in the book. Aunt Patty took it all in, asking pointed questions, and attempting to get clarification on some inconsistencies.

"So, he didn't know what a cell phone or iPod were, but he managed to get himself a bus ticket and find the right bus in Penn Station."

"I asked him that," Alice said. "He said there was this kind of…I don't know…network? People who helped him escape from his brother and get out of the country. Someone met him in the city and helped him. Gave him some money and a bus ticket to Utah. Wherever he's from, I guess it's not unusual for people to try and escape from it."

"Well, that's all pretty vague, Alice."

Alice was quick to jump to Hatter's defense. "He didn't like talking about it, and I don't blame him! You should have seen what his brother did to him, it was just awful."

"So what now?" Aunt Patty asked.

Alice shrugged. "I don't have any way of getting hold of him. He has my number, but I don't know when he'll be able to call."

They both lapsed into silence, Aunt Patty looking pensive and Alice wondering once again how things were going for Hatter. Was his first day in Cheshire Falls good? Was he thinking about her too?

"When I was eighteen," Aunt Patty said suddenly. "I spent three weeks in Europe, just traveling around before college. I'd only just come to terms with the fact that I was gay, and had no practical experience in that area."

Alice wasn't sure where she was going with this story, but Aunt Patty rarely talked about her sexuality; it was just something she simply was. "Did you ever date boys?"

"Of course I did! That's what you were supposed to do, so I did. And some of them I even liked, just not the way they liked me." Aunt Patty tilted her head back to look at the ceiling. "It wasn't like it is now, you know. For the most part, being homosexual was a huge stigma, especially in a traditional Italian family. Your mother still hasn't come to terms with it."

"Mom hasn't come to terms with a lot of things," Alice muttered.

"Anyway, when I was in Italy I met Christine, who was traveling around like me; she was from Norway. We spent two days together in Rome, and at that point in my life they were my two best days ever. I won't bore you with the gory details, but during those two days I experienced more than just the sights."

Aunt Patty grinned, and Alice blushed. She didn't want that mental image in her head. "So?"

"So, we made plans to finish the rest of our trip together. But when it came time to meet up at the station, I chickened out. I was afraid of what would happen if I got too involved with her, particularly since I had no burning desire to move to Norway. It was stupid, I realized that later. A missed opportunity that I've always regretted."

"Does Aunt Viv know about this?" Alice teased. Aunt Patty shook her head.

"Are all sixteen year olds this thick? I'm saying that if you and this Hatter boy really had a connection, and since you have to bus it home anyway, why not stop over in Utah and see him?"

Alice just stared at her, though her mind was already plotting and planning how it could work, and what Hatter would say if she just showed up in Cheshire Falls.

"Your mom is expecting you home in five days. If you leave here a day early, you'd have a day to stay over in Utah, and she'll be none the wiser. Not that I'm in favor of keeping secrets from your mother." Aunt Patty grinned. "But I don't want you to have a missed opportunity either."

"But…how will I…"

"We'll work out the details tomorrows," Aunt Patty said. She got off the bed and tossed the pillows to Alice. "Don't worry, your Aunt Viv is really good at planning this kind of thing."

"Thank you!" Alice knelt on the bed and hugged her aunt. And wished, not for the first time, that her mother could be more like this. So open and understanding.

"Go to sleep, honey. We have a lot to do tomorrow!"

Alice tried, but her head was swimming. Her anger at her mother was buried under the anticipation of seeing Hatter again. And mixed in with that was a bit of anxiety as well; what if he wasn't happy to see her? What if he didn't feel the same way she did?

While she was mentally wrestling with herself over whether or not to be excited about going back to Utah, Alice fell asleep.

* * *

_**AN:**__ Ah, parting is such sweet sorrow. Special thanks to my hubby, who helped me brainstorm my way out of a block in this chapter. Thanks also to Alaina Downs, Celticbriarrose and Kittyinaz for cracking the whip on me and keeping me laughing while I toil away on this fic. ::blows kisses::_


	5. Two Days Later

**Chapter ****Five – Two Days Later**

**Problematique,** by Hot Chelle Rae

_Well, I guess this is quite a mess that we got caught in  
It's best if we just confess that we have fallen  
And love is problematique when you feel  
Like a fanatic of a person that you barely know_

_The trigger's been pulled, there's no use in running_  
_So let's bite the bullet and take what we've got coming_  
_Forget the contemplation situation's complicated_  
_And I'm thinking we should let it roll_

_Let's take this wherever it goes and go_  
_Places that nobody knows about_  
_Anywhere I don't care, take me there_  
_We'll take this where it goes_

_Okay, the way I feel is so surreal and heavy_  
_On my mind all the time this thought is beating steady_  
_Process is monotonous but baby it has gotten us_  
_Everything we think we need_

_Our hearts they beat the same, there's no way to explain_  
_Emotions when a sudden change causes you and me_  
_It's ecstasy, you're next to me and gradually reality_  
_Will soon begin to take control_

_Let's take this wherever it goes and go_  
_Places that nobody knows about_  
_Anywhere I don't care, take me there_  
_We'll take this where it goes_

_We'll be_  
_Strangers in this land_  
_You and me_  
_Together with no plan_

_Let's take this wherever it goes and go_  
_Places that nobody knows about_  
_Anywhere I don't care, take me there_  
_We'll take this where it goes_

The previous day had been filled with a hectic round of planning and shopping, and here Alice was again waiting to board a bus; only this one would take her back home. Aunt Patty and Aunt Viv had gotten her some new clothes, some books to read on the ride back, and the best thing of all – a camera. Alice couldn't wait to get some pictures of Hatter.

Aunt Viv had been a hard sell on the Utah stop-over, particularly since they were keeping it from Carol. Alice wasn't sure how Aunt Patty had finally gotten her to agree to the plan, but she was grateful; she'd never forget what they'd done for her.

"You go and grab your moment," Aunt Patty said as passengers started getting on the bus.

"Be responsible," Aunt Viv said, with a disapproving look at Aunt Patty. "Don't do anything you'll regret."

"I won't," Alice promised. Her stomach was a knot of anxiety, her mind running through all possible outcomes. Aunt Patty must've seen something in her face, because she pulled her into a hug.

"It'll be fine, Alice," she said softly. "The boy who inscribed that book…he'll be happy to see you."

"Thanks," Alice said. She gave both aunts a hug and kiss, and then she got on the bus. She waved at them as it pulled away, then settled in for the ten hour ride back to St. George.

*o*o*o*

The bus pulled into St. George shortly after six that evening, and Alice was so jittery with nerves that she was sure she was twitching like some kind of mental patient. Now that she was here, she needed to find out how to get to Cheshire Falls; it hadn't come up on any Google searches that Aunt Patty had run, so when Hatter said it was a secret place he hadn't been kidding. Hopefully someone here in St. George would know how to get there.

Alice went in search of the information desk. She waited impatiently behind a very confused family of four, willing them to move on. After an agonizing ten minutes, it was finally her turn. The woman behind the counter looked exhausted.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

"Yes, um…I'm wondering if you know how to get to Cheshire Falls?"

The woman took a closer look at her, eyes narrowed. "You're looking for Cheshire Falls? Do you have business there?"

Alice was taken aback by her suspicious tone. She wanted to tell the woman that it was none of her business, she just needed directions, but she just shrugged.

"I'm meeting a friend there."

"Have a seat over there please." The woman gestured to a row of padded seats that were set against the wall.

"I just need directions…"

"Sit." The woman's tone brooked no arguments, and Alice obediently sat down. What was going on? She watched as the woman picked up her phone and made a call, but she was too far away to hear what was said. Maybe she was just calling a taxi? If so, she didn't need to be so rude about it. Alice crossed her arms and waited, scowling.

The sun was going down outside and Alice was getting angry. She only had a short stopover, and her time was trickling away. Slinging her backpack over her shoulder, she made her way purposefully back to the counter. The woman frowned at her, but Alice refused to be intimidated.

"Look, I've been waiting for like, twenty minutes. Do you know how to get to Cheshire Falls or not?"

"I know the way," a voice said behind her. Alice turned, and saw the man who had come to pick up Hatter. She couldn't remember his name.

"Thanks for the call, Sal," he said to the woman at the counter. "Come with me, young lady."

Despite the fact that Alice knew this guy knew Hatter, she was still reluctant to just wander off with a stranger. Nice to know that her mother's incessant stranger danger lectures hadn't gone unheeded.

"Who are you?" she asked, standing her ground. The man turned around and gave her a once-over.

"I'm Doug. And you're Alice. Let's go."

Alice cast a glance back at the ticket counter, but the woman there just raised an eyebrow at her.

"You're going to take me to Cheshire Falls?"

"Isn't that why you're here?" Doug's face was impassive, but Alice could tell by his tone that he was getting irritated. She didn't want to miss her chance, but she wanted to be sure.

"I'm here to see Hatter."

"Then you're going to have to come with me." Doug turned and started walking away, mumbling something about oysters.

She bit her lip, but followed along behind. Doug had a hybrid car that seemed too small for his large frame, but somehow he managed to squeeze himself in. Alice slid into the passenger seat and squashed her backpack in between her legs.

"Is it far?" she asked Doug once they got underway.

"No."

Alice got the idea that Doug didn't want to talk, and that was fine with her. She looked out the window, watching the sun go down on St. George and trying to ignore the nervous knots in her stomach.

*o*o*o*

Cheshire Falls turned out to be one of those gated communities, with a security post at the front entrance. Doug exchanged some words with the uniformed guard on duty before the gates swung open and they could drive through. Old-fashioned street lights were just coming on, illuminating a tree-lined street bordered on both sides by neatly trimmed lawns and tidy houses. It wasn't very easy to see in the fading light, but each house seemed to have a second-story balcony full of leafy green plants and various types of flowers. The effect was really pretty.

Doug turned down a side street, and then into the driveway of blue house. Alice's heart was pounding in her chest. Was Hatter in there? Did he know she was coming?

"Follow me," Doug said.

Alice followed him up a short walkway and through the front door. Alice could hear people talking, and when Doug led her into the living room she saw them. She held her breath for a moment, but of the four people gathered there none of them was Hatter.

"Is this her?" an older woman asked. She had a head full of tight silver curls and a very angular face. "Is this the Alice?"

Alice felt increasingly self-conscious under the scrutiny of five sets of eyes. She shifted uneasily from foot to foot.

"Can I see Hatter, please?"

"She doesn't look like Alice." This from a bald, middle-aged man sitting on the long brown sofa. "Are you certain?"

"She's Hatter's," Doug said.

Alice's eyes narrowed. "Stop talking about me like I'm not here!"

"It's dangerous having her here," the woman said.

"She's got no power here." Another woman, this one much younger. She had short-cropped, spiky red hair and a kind face. "If she's Hatter's, it's too late anyway."

"Alices always have power, Carlotta," Doug said. "You know that."

"Where is Hatter?" Alice asked, her temper rising.

Carlotta came over and put a hand on her arm. "He's out back, by the pond."

"We need to talk to her, Carlotta," Doug said. She waved him off dismissively.

"Alice came a long way. There'll be time tomorrow for talking."

The fourth person in the room, who had been silent all this time, cleared his throat. Of the five, he had the most presence – tall and solidly built, with a full head of wavy salt and pepper hair, and a very prominent nose. The way everyone else looked at him had Alice guessing he was the one in charge.

"Carlotta is right, of course," he said. His voice was deep and gravelly. "If she is Hatter's Alice, then she must go to him. We will have an audience with her tomorrow. Go, child."

Alice felt as though she should bow or something, but all she did was mumble a thank you and head in the direction Carlotta pointed out. As she left the living room she heard everyone talking at once, Doug's voice louder than the rest.

"Respectfully, Griffin, I don't think…"

"It's not up for discussion, Dog."

Once Alice reached the kitchen she couldn't make out what they were saying. Had that man, Griffin, really called Doug a dog? That seemed awfully uncalled for. But she wasn't about to argue with him. These people were strange and a bit scary, and she just wanted to find Hatter.

She slipped out the back door and saw there was indeed a pond set back in the yard. There were benches there, set just outside the pool of light from the patio lantern. Someone was sitting on one of the benches, and even in the twilight Alice could tell it was Hatter. Her heart was beating so hard it was a wonder he couldn't hear it.

Alice stopped when she was an arm's length away, close enough to reach out and snatch the hat off his head.

"Oi! Carlotta…" Hatter jumped off the bench and whirled around, but stopped abruptly when he saw her. Alice clutched his hat in her hands, suddenly too nervous to say anything.

"Alice?" He stepped closer. "What…how did you get here?"

Alice nervously cleared her throat. "Um…I'm on my way home actually. I had a stopover in St. George and I thought…Doug picked me up and…I have to leave tomorrow."

She shrugged, like none of was a big deal. In the next instant Hatter had his arms around her, his hat crushed between them. Then they were kissing and every little worry and fear flew right out of Alice's head. Aunt Patty had been right, and Alice was so glad she hadn't missed this.

"I missed you," Hatter whispered in her ear when they finally came up for air. Alice grinned.

"I missed you, too."

*o*o*o*

"Come on." Hatter grabbed her hand and led her around the side of the house.

"Where are we going?" Alice asked, though as long a she was with Hatter she didn't really care.

"Somewhere we can have privacy." He inclined his head at the house. "That lot'll be watching us, and I don't want to share you."

"Carlotta seemed nice enough."

"She's okay. But she's part of the crew, yeah? They'll want to talk you to death." Hatter's grip on her hand tightened just a bit.

"I got a taste of it already," Alice said. "Is Griffin their boss or something?"

"He's one of the founders, helped set up Cheshire Falls. Dog's my sponsor until I get acclimated."

Alice frowned. "Dog? Griffin called him that too. It didn't seem nice."

Hatter grinned at her. "It's just a nickname, Alice."

He led her down one street, then another, and Alice could see lights on in most of the houses. She wondered who else lived here, what kind of lives they were escaping from. She wondered how many girls here were Hatter's age and would have experiences similar to his. They'd probably fall all over themselves getting to know him and "help" him get settled in. Alice hated them all, just on principle.

"Here we are." Hatter had brought her to a large building, easily the largest she'd seen here. There were no lights on inside, but a light over the door easily illuminated the words Town Hall etched on the glass.

"What are we doing here?" Alice asked.

Hatter produced a key from his pocket, smirking. "Nicked this from Dog…uh, Doug…yesterday."

The key unlocked the front door. Hatter led her through darkened offices and up two flights of stairs. She had to trust him, since she was night blind and he apparently could see in the dark like a cat. The went through another door and out onto one of the garden balconies Alice had admired earlier.

"It's the best one here," Hatter explained. He dropped Alice's hand and went to a small wicker cabinet tucked amongst the greenery. He pulled out several white pillar candles and a folded blanket while Alice looked around.

She didn't know the names of any of the plants, but the effect was like being in a jungle. Green vines and trees with glossy green leaves were arranged around the perimeter of the garden, interspersed with flowers in every shade of pink and red. Under her feet was grass, growing two floors up from where it should be. It was magical.

"This is so cool," Alice said. She joined Hatter on the blanket he'd spread out, loving the romantic effect that the candles added.

"Lay back and look up," he said.

Alice did as he asked. The sky stretched out above them, the stars just starting to come out. It was amazing.

"I've never seen anything like this," Alice said. "This garden, I mean."

"The people who live here, they like to keep nature close." Hatter rose up on his elbow, looking down at her. "I hoped you'd like it."

"Mr. Hatter, are you trying to seduce me?" Alice asked playfully, though her nerves were jittering. This was like a romance novel moment, and she wished he'd just kiss her already.

Hatter's smile faltered. "Do you want me to?"

Alice didn't know what to say, so she put her hand on his neck and pulled him down, kissing him feverishly. His hands were on her, warming her skin, and it was so much better than it had been on the bus. She tentatively slid her own hands under the back of his shirt, her fingertips running along his spine. Hatter shuddered.

"Alice," he whispered against her mouth. "We can't…"

"I want to," Alice insisted. "I don't want to miss this chance with you."

With a soft moan, Hatter tugged her shirt up over her head and tossed it aside. Alice reflexively threw an arm across herself, blushing.

"They're…small," she said.

Hatter gently pushed her arm away. "They're perfect."

He proceeded to lavish such attention on them that Alice was forced to agree. Perfect. He kneaded and nipped at her until her entire body felt flushed with heat. And he did it without taking off her bra. She wondered how many times he'd done this, and then his hand brushed across her belly and that thought was lost.

Alice didn't know what to do with her hands, so she just kept running them up and down Hatter's back. Occasionally her fingers would brush the waistband of his pants, but she wasn't brave enough to move them any lower.

Hatter reached under her and unhooked her bra, but he didn't take it off. Instead, he kissed her again and ran his fingers down her cheek.

"If you want me to stop, tell me. Okay?"

"I don't want you to," Alice said breathlessly. "I want it to be you."

Candlelight sent shadows flickering across his face and darkened his eyes. Alice closed her own eyes as Hatter drew the bra down her arms and tossed it in the general direction of her shirt. This time his mouth sent little shockwaves through her; her breasts were small but sensitive and she felt every caress of his tongue keenly.

While his mouth was occupied, Hatter's hand was unbuttoning her jeans. Alice tensed in anticipation, and he moved up to kiss her mouth. He cupped his hand over her and Alice was suddenly wishing away the barrier of her panties.

"You still have your shirt on," she said. And then wished she hadn't said anything because he had to use both hands to unbutton it. It was worth the view, though. Hatter had a lean, muscular torso, with just a bit of dark hair on his chest. There was more hair around his bellybutton, a line of it that disappeared beneath his pants. Alice followed it with her eyes; there was a very clear sign of Hatter's arousal straining against the zipper.

Alice giggled.

"Oi! What's funny?"

"Nothing!" Alice clapped a hand to her mouth, but more giggles were bubbling up. "I…laugh…when I get nervous."

Hatter looked down at himself, then back at Alice. His eyebrow quirked up. "Does this make you nervous, then?"

He took her hand and splayed it against the front of his pants. Alice's giggles died as she felt how hard he was, and her hand instinctively curled up to grasp him through the fabric. Hatter moaned, his eyes closed.

"I won't be able to stop, Alice," he said. "Not if we keep going like this."

"Don't stop." Alice hooked her thumbs in the waistband of her jeans and pushed them down and off, so that she was lying there in just her panties.

"You're so beautiful," Hatter murmured. He kissed her, hard, and then his lips and hands were everywhere. Alice just closed her eyes, lost in the sensations he was giving her. Her skin tingled everywhere he touched, and there was a steady throbbing between her legs.

She wanted more and Hatter gave it to her, slipping his fingers under the panties and lightly stroking her. She heard herself making little mewling sounds, which embarrassed her, but she couldn't stop.

"Pants," she gasped. Hatter obliged her by removing his, green silk boxers tented out from his erection. Alice reached her hand out and then stopped, unsure. Hatter took hold of her wrist and pulled her the rest of the way. He pushed off the boxers and wrapped Alice's hand around his…her mind hesitated to name it, everything she'd ever heard it called sounded so stupid.

What it was, was hard and soft all at the same time, the skin surprisingly silky. Alice gave it a few tentative strokes, growing bolder when she saw Hatter's eyes roll back in his head. She thought about where he'd be putting that…dick? cock?...and felt moisture pool between her own legs.

"Hatter," she said. "Do you have protection?"

That seemed to draw him up short. "Are we in some kind of danger?"

Alice giggled. "No, you know. Birth control?"

He just stared at her, and Alice added another thing to the list of Things Hatter Doesn't Know But Should. Luckily, Aunt Patty had thought of that too. Alice reached out, fumbling for her jeans, and pulled a foil-wrapped condom out of the front pocket. She handed it to Hatter, who looked at it dumbly.

"What's this?"

"Open it up," Alice said, wishing he'd hurry. "You put it on your…you know. So I don't get pregnant, or some kind of sex disease."

Hatter opened up the package and pulled out the condom, his nose wrinkling in distaste. "I'm supposed to put this on? That's how it works here?"

"I'll show you," Alice offered. "We learned in Health class last semester."

She sat up and took the condom from Hatter. It was one of those new super thin ones, which was supposed to feel like you weren't wearing one. Not that she'd know the difference. Feeling quite daring, Alice placed the condom on the tip of Hatter's penis and slowly unrolled it with her thumb and forefinger until it was securely in place.

"That was so hot," Hatter said. He pulled Alice into his lap so she was straddling him, and kissed her. With one hand he reached between them, stroking Alice again until his fingers were slick.

Hatter laid her back on the blanket. "They tell me this is going to hurt, love," he said apologetically.

Alice nodded. "I've heard that too. It's okay."

At least she hoped it was. Hatter positioned himself at her opening, guiding himself with one hand. Alice felt herself tensing again, and he kissed her soft and sweet and long, until she had relaxed again. Slowly, he began pushing his way inside of her until he reached the barrier.

"I'm sorry," he said. The he thrust all the way in and Alice hissed at the burning sensation that followed. Hatter stopped moving, waiting and kissing until the pain had faded and Alice told him it was okay to continue.

She tried to get in rhythm with his thrusts, but the more she tried to focus on that the more she felt she was fumbling and awkward.

"Relax, Alice," Hatter said. He kept his mouth on hers, teasing her with her tongue until she stopped thinking and was able to just go with the feelings. She could feel something building inside her, a kind of pressure, particularly when Hatter began mumbling in between kisses.

"You're so tight. Oh, you feel so good…I can't…I can't…"

And then he was arching above her, his face screwed up so that it almost looked like he was in pain. When it was over, he dropped down beside her, panting. Alice couldn't help feeling a little disappointed. She felt sure she'd been close to having an orgasm; what else could that feeling have been? Hatter rolled up on his side, trailing one finger between her breasts.

"That was…incredible." Hatter captured her lips in another kiss, then began kissing his way down. He nipped at her breasts, and swirled his tongue around her bellybutton. Alice started giggling again.

"What are you doing?"

"Making it incredible for you, yeah?" His breath was warm against her thigh as he kissed first one and then the other. Alice pushed at his head.

"No, don't do that!"

"Why not?" he asked, positioning himself between her legs.

"It's…doesn't it…isn't there a…a smell?" Alice felt mortified even asking. She'd heard all the jokes, about how girls smelled like fish. She didn't want Hatter thinking of her that way. He just chuckled.

"You smell like sex. Like Alice." Hatter ran his tongue over her and Alice jumped in surprise. "You taste like…peaches."

And then his mouth was too busy to talk and Alice was too busy moaning and moving her hips in tandem with his tongue to argue. She could feel the orgasm building, and had a moment to feel self-conscious about what was going to happen. And then Hatter rapidly flicked his tongue and the orgasm broke over her. He gripped her hips, holding her in place when she arched up. His tongue kept moving, drawing out the sensations while her hands clutched at the blanket.

When it was over, Alice lay sprawled and not caring about much of anything. She felt completely boneless and out of breath. She'd never imagined that having sex would make her feel this way. Sure, she was a little sore and throbby, but it had been amazing.

The best part, of course, was that it had been with Hatter. He was curled up next to her now, his head pillowed on her breast, and she couldn't help but touch him. She ran her hand up and down his arm, wishing she could mark him somehow so other girls would know that he was hers.

"It's never been like this for me before," Hatter said softly. "I like it."

"Me too."

"Alice?"

"Yeah?"

"What do I do with this…wrapping you put on me?"

Alice giggled, pressing her face into Hatter's spiky hair and feeling an emotion that was too big and scary to say out loud.

*o*o*o*

Alice felt like she spent most of her time in bus stations, and she decided she'd never take another one once this trip was done. However scary it was to fly, at least it was quicker.

"Call me when you get home?" Hatter asked.

"You know I will. Just don't forget the time difference."

"Sure," Hatter replied, though she knew that part was still confusing for him.

They'd spent the day together, and Alice had taken the opportunity to show Hatter how to use the phone and set him up with an e-mail account. She'd managed to fill up the memory card on her camera as well. There'd been a meeting with Doug, Griffin and the others, which was less scary with Hatter by her side. They'd asked her to respect their privacy and not talk to anyone about Cheshire Falls, which Alice had readily agreed to. She'd never want to do anything to put Hatter in danger.

Much as they'd both wanted to, there'd been no further opportunity to be intimate, and Alice thought maybe that was okay. She didn't want anything muddling up her memory of her first time, which had been so perfect. And she felt confident that they'd have plenty of time for that in the future.

"Time for you to go," Hatter said as the last of the other passengers boarded the bus. Alice kissed him, feeling a little sad but not as despondent as the last time they'd said goodbye. Maybe because this time she was certain that what was between them wasn't some random, fleeting thing; it felt so much more solid than just a chance encounter on a bus.

"I'll miss you," Alice said. Hatter pulled her into a tight hug.

"We'll talk. Every day."

They kissed again, and then Alice got on the bus and found her seat. Hatter waved at her and she waved back. And then he was gone.

*o*o*o*

A month later Alice received a package in the mail, with Utah postage. It was a new iPod, one of the fancy ones, including a personalized skin decorated with bowler hats. Alice laughed until tears rolled down her cheeks. She unfolded the enclosed note.

_I felt bad about taking all your music, so I got you this. All your songs are on it, and some others Carlotta helped me find. I hope you think of me when you listen to them. I miss you every day. Love, Hatter_

"I love you too," Alice whispered.

* * *

_**AN:**__ Well, this was going to be my last chapter, but Alaina Downs requested a few follow-up scenes. This chapter ends the bus travel portion of this story, though. LOL! _

_Alaina, I hope you like this chapter! ::fingers crossed:: Definitely wrote it with you in mind, and your suggestions were very helpful. Thanks so much! And speaking of Alaina Downs, have you checked out her new story _Dark Horse_? You won't be sorry!_


	6. Three Years Later

**Chapter ****Six – Three Days Later**

**Bleed****,** by Hot Chelle Rae

_I feel like I'm drowning in ice water.  
My lips have turned a shade of blue.  
I'm frozen in with this fear,  
That you may disappear,  
Before I've given you the truth__._

_I bleed my heart out on this paper for you._  
_So you can see what I can't say._  
_I'm dyin' here (I'm dyin' here),_  
_Cuz I can't say what I want to._  
_I bleed my heart out just for you._

_I've always dreamed about this moment._  
_And now it's here and I turned to stone._  
_I stand here petrified,_  
_As I look in your eyes._  
_My head is ready to explode._

_I bleed my heart out on this paper for you._  
_So you can see what I can't say._  
_I'm dyin' here,_  
_Cuz I can't say what I want to._  
_I bleed my heart out just for you._

_It's all here in black and white and red._  
_For all those times those words were never said._

_I bleed my heart out on this paper for you._  
_So you can see what I can't say._  
_I'm dyin' here,_  
_Cuz I can't say what I want to._  
_I bleed my heart out just for you._  
_I bleed my heart out just for you._

Alice sat on her narrow dorm bed, trying to get through another dry novel for her American Lit class. It was hard with the Springtime on Campus sounds wafting in the window – radios, the chatter of the sunbathers down on the quad, the faint whack from a stickball game. When her roommate burst through the door, she gladly tossed the book aside.

"Distract me! Please!"

Sharon grinned at her. "Good book?"

"Another dusty old classic," Alice said mournfully. "It's too nice out to read anyway."

"I hear Professor Downs might add your book to the curriculum next semester."

Alice groaned. "God, I hope not!"

She looked over at her bookshelf, crammed full of school texts, novels for her English classes, and a copy of her own book which had been published the year before. _Four Days On A Bus: How I Turned My Life Around_. She'd been so excited that someone had thought it good enough to publish, but now it was kind of embarrassing. Her creative writing professors likewise took a dim view of her book, and she felt they graded her far more harshly than anyone else in her class because of it. It didn't stop her from wanting to pursue a career as a writer.

"The two Mikes are throwing a party tonight," Sharon said as she rummaged around in her desk drawer. "You wanna go?"

"I don't know," Alice said. She looked out the window. "Probably not."

Sharon threw a Post-it pad at her, catching her in the shoulder.

"Hey!"

"You need to stop moping around," Sharon said. "You broke up with your boyfriend, and I get that you're sad, but come one! You're allowed to go out and have some fun."

Alice felt a little tug at her heart, as she always did when she thought of Hatter. And just because breaking up had been her idea didn't mean she didn't feel bad. Or guilty for having done it over the phone instead of face-to-face.

"You stop that!" Sharon admonished. She came over and perched on the end of Alice's bed. "I can see that look in your eye and I won't allow it! Come out with me. Have some bad beer, throw caution to the wind, and live a little!"

Alice grinned. "Can you guarantee the beer will be bad?"

"You know the Mikes only ever get the cheap kind. Hey, maybe we'll get sick together. Won't that be fun?"

"I'm not doing _that_ again!" Alice laughed.

"See? You're happier already!" Sharon bounced off the bed and pulled Alice along with her. "Come on. We'll get some lunch and take a walk down to the duck pond. You need fresh air."

Alice offered up no further arguments, and allowed herself to be pulled away from her homework, at least for a little while.

*o*o*o*

It was after midnight and the party was going full force, but Alice had decided to take a break and go outside where it was cooler. She was pleasantly buzzed, and sitting underneath Mike P's window where she could still hear the sounds of the party. She wasn't the only one who'd had the idea, either; her friend Kellie had come with her, there were a couple of guys she didn't know, and a girl from her Shakespeare class…Wendy something.

"How do they do it?" Kellie asked. She was lying on her back in the grass with her legs propped up against the wall of the dorm. "How do they never get caught?"

"I think Mike H is good friends with the RA," one of the guys replied.

"Must be special friends," Alice observed with a giggle.

"I'll be your special friend," the guy said, scooting over to sit next to her. "I'm Rob. What's your name?"

"Alice."

"She's single," Kellie put in helpfully.

"I broke up with my boyfriend," Alice sighed. "He's a really good kisser."

"Oh, yeah?" Rob dropped an arm around her shoulder and Alice giggled. "I'm pretty good at that myself."

"You kiss yourself?" Wendy asked, promptly doubling over in laughter.

Alice couldn't help but snicker as well, at least until Rob pulled her close and started kissing her. Her first thought was, _I haven't done this in a while_. And her second one was, _Not as good as Hatter_. There was no time for a third thought, because suddenly Rob was rolling away from her in the grass.

"What the hell are you doing, Alice?"

She looked up, up, up and saw Hatter looming over her. She went right from giggly to angry, and quickly scrambled unsteadily to her feet.

"What are you doing here?" Alice asked him. She could see he was angry, too, and couldn't help thinking how sexy it made him look. It had been months since she'd seen him and that same old pull was there; she wanted to jump into his arms, wanted to feel his lips on hers, and tried with minimal success to tamp those feelings down.

"Back off, buddy!" Rob had regained his feet and was advancing, his hands fisted.

"Alice is my girl," Hatter said. "_You_ back off."

"She says she's nobody's girl," Rob retorted.

Hatter looked at Alice, his mouth pinched. "Is that true, Alice?"

"We broke up, Hatter," Alice said. Tears pricked her eyelids as she said the words out loud, to his face this time.

"Alice…"

"No!" And she dredged up the same old argument. "You haven't been honest with me, all these years. You keep a part of yourself hidden, when you know everything about me. _Everything!_ I can't be with someone who keeps secrets, Hatter. You know why."

"Your bloody father," Hatter muttered angrily.

"I'm not doing this now," Alice said. Tears were threatening to overwhelm her now, and she turned to go.

"I'll walk you back to your room," Hatter grabbed hold of her elbow but she shook him off.

"I can get there myself!"

"You're drunk," Hatter shot back.

"I'll take her," Kellie offered, though it took her a moment or two to get to her feet.

"No, I'll take her." Rob was advancing again, but Hatter shot him such a dark look that he stumbled to a stop.

"I got this," Sharon said, materializing out of nowhere and linking arms with Alice. "Back to the party, you guys. Hatter…"

Alice couldn't look at him, couldn't stand to see that angry and hurt look on his face. She was startled when he shoved something in her hand; it was a folded and crinkled envelope.

"Read it," he said, his lips right next to her ear. "I'll be here tomorrow. We can talk, after you read it."

When Alice looked up, it was to see him melt into the shadows as he walked away. Sharon gave her arm a tug and she started walking as well, clutching the envelope to her chest.

*o*o*o*

Alice came back from the bathroom, freshly scrubbed up and feeling a bit more sober. She took a long pull off a bottle of water, then curled up in bed with the envelope Hatter had given her. There was nothing written on the outside of it, no clue about what it might contain.

"Will the lamp bother you?" she asked Sharon, who was already in bed and buried beneath her blanket. Alice took the mumbled reply as a no.

Hatter had come a long way to see her. For what purpose? To try and change her mind? God, how she wished he would try; she missed him so much. Maybe the envelope contained his confession, the secrets he'd been keeping from her. Alice couldn't abide secrets. And she couldn't stand not knowing what was in that envelope another second.

Tearing it open, she pulled out two pages written in Hatter's small, precise hand. The sight of that alone was another to bring tears to her eyes again, and she traced the words with her fingertips. Alice adjusted the pillow behind her back and took one more drink before she started to read.

_Dearest Alice,_

_I'd gotten used to the physical distance between us, but to have you cut me out of your life completely has been…I can't be without you. Since that first day on the bus, when you shared your iPod with me, you have been as important as air to me. Nothing you say will ever change that. You want to know what I'm keeping from you, why I've never told you more about where I'm from and what my childhood was like. I didn't think you'd believe me, and maybe you won't. But I won't keep it from you anymore._

Alice in Wonderland_ isn't just a story. While most of it is fiction, there's some that's not. Wonderland is a real place. I was born there, lived there until I escaped through the Looking Glass to your world. That's why I didn't know what your iPod was, or your phone. So much of your world was strange to me then, but I'm sure my world would feel just as strange to you._

Alice let the letter fall from her fingers and drift down on the bed. A part of her was incredulous, and angry. What the hell was Hatter up to? Her logical mind rejected what he was trying to tell her. Wonderland? Real? It was preposterous! And yet…when she thought back to those first few days of their acquaintance, she remembered how out of touch he'd seemed. How he'd marveled at every little thing. How, in the intervening years, he'd called her all excited about some new little bit of history he'd learned, or a piece of technology he finally understood.

She was afraid to read more, but she reached out and grabbed the letter. He'd asked her to read it and she would. No matter how crazy it was.

_My parents died when I was seven. My father was executed by the Queen of Hearts. My mother took her own life shortly after that, and I was left on my own to survive in Wonderland City. I don't remember a lot about that time, Alice, and what I do remember I wish I could forget. I almost died, but March saved me. He took me in and gave me a new home. Taught me how to steal and run a con, and I was good at it. Really good at it._

_But March changed. He got hooked on Tea, which is a drug in Wonderland. It's addictive and horrible, made from stolen emotions. He started yelling at me a lot, then hitting me. And I let him, because I owed him my life. Because to me he was my brother, and I kept hoping he'd change. He only got worse._

_There is a group called The Resistance, fighting against the Queen and her Teas. They've organized a system kind of like your Underground Railroad, which helps people like me who need to leave Wonderland if they've any chance of surviving. Cheshire Falls was set up as a safe haven, a place where we can learn things like how to use the phone or figure out the difference between dimes and quarters. No-one is supposed to know about Cheshire Falls, and we're not to speak of Wonderland except to other Wonderlanders. They could've turned me away for telling you back then, especially when you came to see me._

_Wonderland isn't too much like the book. There are no talking animals, no living chess pieces. Just people trying to survive a really terrible monarchy. And they may have names like Dog and Turtle and Duck, but they're just people. We do have Jabberwocks, though, and of course there are Hatters. Just as there are Alices. The Alice from the book came a long time ago, really shook things up before she went home again. I bet she was a lot like you._

_There are no cars in Wonderland, not TVs or phones or Walmart. Whatever tech there is the Queen keeps for herself. I love your world, Alice. I love the music, the movies, the incredible amounts of food. I love that I don't have to look over my shoulder all the time, or worry that the Queen might take my head. I love that you were so nice to me without even knowing who I was. More than anything, I love you. _

_I wish I could've told you this a long time ago. But I was afraid you'd laugh at me, or think me mad. I was afraid I'd lose you, and it turns out I did anyway. There are a lot of things about my past I'm not proud of Alice, but I'll tell you all of them. If you'll just talk to me, just try and keep an open mind, I'll tell you every detail. Just please give me another chance. I'm a Hatter, and I need my Alice._

_I swear that everything I wrote here is true. I'm not trying to be funny, or make you even angrier. This is my story, crazy as it seems. Please don't turn away from me because of it. Wonderland is only part of who I am. And whatever I am is nothing without you._

_Please talk to me. I love you._

_Hatter_

Alice crumpled the letter in her hand and held it against her chest. She finally gave in to the tears, burying her face in her pillow so she wouldn't wake Sharon. And before she fell asleep, she smoothed out the pages Hatter had written to her and tucked them back in the envelope, which she slipped under her pillow.

Tomorrow, she'd talk to Hatter. Face to face. And see what was true.

*o*o*o*

Alice woke up dry-mouthed and achy. Her hand went immediately to the envelope that was still under her pillow. She knew Hatter wanted to talk to her and she wasn't sure what to say. But something had occurred to her while she slept, and she needed time to process it. She didn't get much.

When she returned from the bathroom after taking care of some pressing business and brushing her teeth, Hatter was sitting out in the hall next to her door. His navy blue silk shirt was wrinkled, like he'd slept in it, and his spiky hair was looking a bit droopy. He scrambled to his feet when he saw her, hat in his hands.

"Alice, I know it's early…"

"Just give me a minute," Alice said. She went back inside her room and shut the door behind her. She very quietly got changed out of her SpongeBob nightshirt and into a sweatshirt and jeans; Sharon was still asleep and experience dictated that she'd stay that way for at least another three hours. Alice grabbed her room key, and stuffed Hatter's letter into her back pocket.

"Let's take a walk," she said when she got back out in the hall. Hatter flipped his hat back on his head and trailed along after her.

Neither one of them said anything for a long while. Alice led Hatter outside and on the pathway that would take them out to the farthest end of campus, which was likely to be deserted this early on a Saturday. Her destination was the small duck pond, and the wooden bench that sat at the edge of it. There were no actual ducks there, but it was still pretty.

Alice sat on the bench and Hatter sat beside her, close but not touching. He took his hat off again, flipping it from hand to hand.

"You do that when you're nervous," she said, breaking the silence. "Play around with your hat."

"Yeah."

"I know you love hamburgers, so rare they almost moo. I know you can win at cards without even trying, and that you never cheat at board games or solitaire. I know how important books are to you, and that you love to read Janet Evanovich novels but are embarrassed to tell your friends." Alice looked at Hatter, taking him in. "I know your hair is untamable but so soft, that you have a scar on your collarbone from where your brother hit you with a tea cup, and that Disney movies make you cry."

"You know me pretty well," Hatter said softly. He kept his eyes down, as if carefully studying the hat that he was absently twirling around his finger.

"I know you never lie," Alice continued. "You've never lied to me, not since the day we met. And maybe you didn't tell me everything, but you didn't outright lie about it either."

That was the thought she'd had this morning. In every other aspect of his life, Hatter had been completely honest and truthful with her. And maybe Wonderland was impossible, but if Hatter believed it how could she not?

"I know you love me," Alice said. She put her hand on Hatter's cheek and he finally looked at her; his eyes were bright with unshed tears and full of fear.

"I do," he whispered.

"Will you tell me about it? Will you tell me about…about Wonderland?"

Hatter nodded. Blinking away her own tears, Alice wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close. Hatter twisted and pulled Alice into his lap, peppering her face and neck with kisses.

"I missed you," he murmured.

"I missed you too," Alice replied. "And I'm sorry, Hatter. You had your reasons for keeping…Wonderland a secret."

"Let's don't be sorry, Alice." Hatter ran a hand through her hair, letting the ends dangle off his fingers. "It was Griffin's rule, and I shouldn't have kept it from you for so long. I thought maybe you wouldn't believe it."

"I'm not sure I do, not completely," Alice admitted. "But you'll tell me about it and I will."

Hatter settled her more comfortably in his lap and wrapped his arms around her, keeping her close.

"Remember I said the City was built up, not out?"

"You said you could get above the clouds," Alice said quietly.

"Right. There's not a building as tall in your world, at least from what I've seen. The City just goes up and up and up till you think maybe it goes up forever. But I've been to the top, just once. You can see almost all Wonderland from there, and it's so beautiful. Looking at it from that height, you can't see the problems, just the land and the lake and the mountains."

As the sun rose higher in the sky, warming the air, Hatter told Alice everything he could remember about Wonderland and his life there. And Alice believed.

* * *

_**AN:**__ This is for the ever-awesome Alaina Downs, who wanted a college chapter. When I heard this song, I knew exactly how I wanted to take it. Hope you like it, Alaina! Couldn't do this without you! _


	7. Two Years After That

**Chapter ****Seven – Two Years After That**

**Say (Half Past Nine)****,** by Hot Chelle Rae

_Well I've got the ticket  
We're out of time  
Go read__y or not it's a half past nine  
__half past nine  
_

_And this city is red  
__There's nothing left  
__No looking back and no regrets  
__no regrets  
_

_Take my hand  
This train won't wait for you  
Well I'll do anything  
__if I can make you  
_

_Come away with me  
__and don't waste time  
Say, say that you're leaving with me  
Say, say that you're coming with me tonight  
_

_Could be the night  
We'll be just fine  
Say, say that you're leaving with me  
Say, say, say that you're coming with me  
_

_And let's take a chance  
__we've come this far  
A motion picture romance  
The world is ours, world is ours  
_

_Come away with me  
__and don't waste time  
Say, say that you're leaving with me  
Say, say that you're coming with me tonight  
_

_It's now or it__'s never  
__I won't wait forever  
I know this is right  
Let's let love live our lives tonight  
_

The Dodge Charger gleamed in the sunshine and Alice couldn't take her eyes off of it. She'd never been a car person, but for some reason this one seemed to have captivated her. She wondered if it was just because it was black and sleek, or if it was a bit of old Dukes of Hazard nostalgia. Whatever the reason, she couldn't wait to slide behind the wheel and drive that bad boy out of the city. It was only a rental, but Alice was seriously considering buying one for herself. Maybe after grad school.

"Remember to keep your cell phones charged," Carol said. "And don't pick up any strangers."

"We'll be fine, Mom," Alice said, running a hand over the hood of the car.

"Alice…"

"We'll call every night," Hatter promised. "So you'll not worry."

Alice turned around in time to catch the affectionate look her mother gave Hatter. She couldn't help but grin; she and her mom had come a long way over the last six years and were finally at a place where they could be friends. She knew her mother genuinely liked Hatter, despite her misgivings early on in their relationship, and it was such a relief to have everyone getting along.

"We'll be fine," Alice said again. She gave Carol a hug and kissed her on the cheek. "It's just two weeks and then we'll come back and get respectable jobs."

Carol laughed. "I know. I can't help but worry, though."

The trip had been Alice's idea. She wanted to drive out to Aunt Patty's, follow the old bus route only this time with stops to see the sights. She thought it would be a fun way to celebrate graduating from college – a road trip with Hatter – but she hoped to get some fodder for a follow-up book as well. When they got back she'd start her summer job and then it would be off to graduate school.

"Take care of each other," Carol said. She gave Hatter a big hug, and pressed something into his hand. "Have fun!"

Alice got into the car and quickly reviewed all the dials, knobs and levers so she'd know where everything was. Hatter slid into the passenger seat and put the window down so Carol could lean in and remind them one more time to be careful.

"We'll call you tonight," Alice said, and then they pulled away from the curb and headed off down the street. "What did she give you?"

"Prepaid Visa card," Hatter replied. He shifted so he could pull his wallet from his back pocket, and slid the card inside. "That'll be handy for gas."

"I'm so excited that we're doing this!" Alice said, bouncing just a little in her seat. "This is going to be way better than the bus."

"Dunno about that," Hatter said. He slid his hand under Alice's t-shirt and tickled her ribs. "Harder to snog this way."

Alice giggled and squirmed until Hatter took pity on her; he settled his hand on her knee instead.

"You'll have plenty of chances for that," she said with a smile. "Think hotel beds instead of narrow bus seats."

"Where's the challenge?" Hatter complained.

"Oh, I'm sure I can think of something." Alice shot him a sultry look.

"What's our first stop?"

"Gonna have to wait, sweets," Alice laughed. "We still have a long way to go."

*o*o*o*

"Best shower ever," Alice sighed. The water continued to pound down on her shoulders but she wasn't standing up anymore; she and Hatter were sitting in the tub, Alice pulled back against his chest. She could feel his heart racing.

"I think you killed me," Hatter gasped.

"I told you to watch out for the faucet."

"Can we get out now? I think I'm drowning."

Alice laughed. She pushed herself up, then gave a hand to Hatter. She took a moment to admire his body as he stood there under the spray. He had a lean build and a narrow waist, muscular without being overly so.

"God, you're gorgeous." Alice ran her hands over his chest, the water making his skin slick as a seal's.

"Isn't that my line?" Hatter nibbled at her neck, one breast cupped in his hand. The water chose that moment to change from fairly warm to icy cold, and Hatter screamed like a girl. Alice danced out from under the spray and half-fell out of the tub, ending up sprawled on the bath mat and laughing herself silly. She heard the water shut off, and then Hatter was standing over her, dripping.

"You didn't laugh this much the last time we came through Pennsylvania," he remarked. He gave her a hand up and wrapped her in a towel.

"The way I remember it, you tried to follow me into the bathroom, and then you bought me a candy bar." Alice took another towel and wrapped her wet hair in it.

"I'm way ahead of you," Hatter said. He walked out of the bathroom, the last towel slung low on his hips. Alice trailed after him, tucking her own towel more securely around her chest, and then started laughing again when she saw the king-sized Crunch bar in his hand. When she tried to grab it, Hatter held it up over her head.

"Sorry, but this is only for naked girls."

"Ah. I see." Alice narrowed her eyes, then ran at Hatter and knocked him backward onto the Queen-sized bed. They grappled for the candy bar until both were divested of their towels and Alice couldn't breathe from laughing so hard.

"This is more like it," Hatter said. He spooned up behind Alice and ran one hand over her hip and down her leg. Alice rested her head on his arm while simultaneously opening the candy wrapper.

"If only I could get a chocolate Hatter, life would be perfect."

"I'm better than chocolate," Hatter replied. Alice snorted.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. Unlike chocolate, I make _you_ melt in _my_ hands." And he proceeded to show her exactly how he could make that happen.

*o*o*o*

"Hatter, it's a thousand degrees. Just put the air conditioner on!"

"You know it gives me a headache," Hatter snapped.

Alice sighed. Kansas was unspeakably hot; she didn't know if it was always that way in June, or if they were having a heat wave. All the windows in the Charger were down, but the air blowing through them was too warm. Alice had stripped down to a tank top, and fanned herself with one of the maps from the glove compartment.

"Can we at least stop for a cold soda or something?"

"We're making good time."

Alice took a deep breath. The heat was making Hatter crabby, and that was making her crabby. If he'd only turn the air on…

"I'm begging you, Hatter. On my knees. We need to stop for something cold or I'm going to melt right here." Alice gave him her most pathetic face.

"Okay, fine. The next place I see."

"Thank you!" Alice leaned over and kissed his cheek. Hatter just grumped.

They drove another twenty-five miles in silence, Alice trying to visualize icebergs and snowstorms and trying not to hate Hatter. Finally there were signs for gas stations and restaurants, and they pulled off the highway.

"There!" Alice pointed to an ice cream stand. "Oh, God, yes!"

She was out of the car as soon as Hatter parked it, and joined the short line at the ordering window. There wasn't even a hint of a breeze, and Alice continued to fan herself with the map. She glanced back at Hatter, who was leaning against the car with his arms folded. His face was red from the heat and his short-sleeved silk button-down shirt was plastered to his chest.

"Do you want something?"

"Shake. Strawberry," was his terse reply.

Alice rolled her eyes. Maybe once he cooled off, he'd regain his normally happy demeanor. She hoped. Or else she might have to leave him on the side of the road and finish this trip by herself.

When it was her turn to order, Alice couldn't help but be jealous of the perky girls working the stand – it sure looked cool in there. While they buzzed around, getting her ice cream and Hatter's shake, she grabbed a handful of napkins and shoved them in the pocket of her jean shorts. She gestured Hatter over toward the shaded picnic tables and joined him there.

"Thanks," he mumbled when Alice handed him his shake. "What's in that one?"

"Ice water," Alice said. She set the second cup aside for later. Her more immediate concern was the sugar cone filled with chocolate ice cream, which she set about licking because it was melting fast in the hot sun.

"Ooooh, this is heaven," she moaned. The perfect antidote to a hot summer day. A bit of chocolate ice cream dripped on her chest and started tracking its way down; Alice caught it before it went underneath the tank top, scooping it up with one finger which she then popped in her mouth to clean off.

Hatter made a strangled sound and she looked over at him, surprised to see the look on his face. She knew that look, it was an I-want-you-now look. What she didn't know was why he'd gone from grumpy to lusty so quickly, until she drew her finger out of her mouth and saw the way his eyes were following it. She smirked.

"How's your milkshake?" Alice asked innocently. She went back to licking her cone, making an effort now to sweep her tongue around the chocolate in a languorous fashion. Hatter only grunted in reply.

"Can I try some?" Alice asked. He wordlessly handed her the milkshake, eyes widening when she swirled her tongue around the straw before sucking on it in the most suggestive way she could manage.

"Bloody hell," Hatter whispered. Alice put her hand to her mouth to keep from laughing as he surreptitiously adjusted himself under the picnic table.

"Everything okay?" she asked.

"We need to find a place to stop," Hatter said. "Soon. Now."

"Why?" Alice took another lick of her cone, and Hatter fairly launched himself across the table. He captured her face in his hands and kissed her, hard and deep, until she felt a bit light-headed.

"That's why."

"Oh," Alice said dazedly. "Someplace with AC and a pool?"

"Whatever. Let's go." Hatter grabbed her hand and hurried her back to the car; she barely had time to toss the cone and grab the ice water. The air inside the car was hot and stuffy, and Alice hoped they found a motel quickly, as much for the draw of air conditioning as a romp with Hatter. While he strapped himself in the driver's seat, Alice popped the lid off the ice water.

"Ever seen what I can do with an ice cube?" she asked.

*o*o*o*

Alice parked the car down the street from the St. George bus station. It was strange to see it during the daytime; it seemed all her visits here were at dusk. She half expected to see Doug waiting for them by the door, but of course they didn't need the transportation this time. After a quick stroll through town, they'd head over to Cheshire Falls for an overnight stay. Alice was hoping to revisit a certain overgrown balcony.

Hatter took her hand and led her to a metal bench nearby, where they could sit in the shade. Alice snuggled up against him, loving how solid he felt under her arm. Their trip was almost half over, and soon he'd be working out here in Salt Lake City and she'd be back in New York. It hadn't been easy, maintaining a long-distance relationship for all these years, but there wasn't anyone else Alice could imagine herself being with.

"What are you thinking about, love?" Hatter asked.

"I'm just wishing we didn't have to go home next week."

"Me, too." He kissed her forehead, and Alice smiled.

"This always seems like a leaving place to me," she said. "The first time we were here, I had to say goodbye to you and it broke my heart. I didn't know if I'd ever see you again."

The memory was fresh in her mind, and she thought it might always be. She'd fallen for Hatter fast. He'd filled up the space in her heart that had been left behind by her father, and letting him go had been so hard. Particularly for a selfish sixteen year old girl who wanted a happy ending.

"It was the same for me, yeah?" Hatter gave her a squeeze. "I didn't have the chance to know nice girls in Wonderland. I'd come from nothing, stealing and running cons, and then there was this sweet, pretty Oyster being so nice to me. Sometimes I don't feel I deserve you, Alice."

"There's a saying, Hatter. The past is history, the future is a mystery. Today is a gift and that's why we call it the present."

"I like that," Hatter chuckled.

They sat in companionable silence for a while, watching people walk by and enjoying a nice breeze that kept summer air from being intolerable. Alice had one arm propped up behind Hatter, her hand playing with the hair that curled at the back of his neck. She wished every day could be like this, and not just the too-rare occasions when they were able to be together. Maybe once she was done with grad school things would be different.

"Alice?" Hatter turned to face her and took both of her hands in his. She leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss to his lips.

"I love you too."

Hatter grinned. "I do, you know I do. And I don't want to say goodbye to you anymore. I don't want to plan trips to see you three or four times a year."

"Hatter…"

"Let me finish," Hatter said. He squeezed her hands. "Every time we say goodbye, a part of me worries it'll be forever. That something will happen to keep us apart. I'd just as soon go back to Wonderland than be without you, Alice."

Alice looked at him, tears welling up in her eyes. "I feel the same way, you know I do."

"Marry me," he whispered, and Alice forgot how to breathe. "Marry me, Alice, and be with me forever."

Hatter reached one hand inside his jacket and pulled out a little white box. He flipped it open one-handed, revealing a gold band with a small round sapphire gleaming on it.

"Marry me. Be my Alice for always."

"It's beautiful," Alice gasped. She reached out a tentative finger and touched it. "It's perfect."

"Will you be mine?" Hatter asked softly. "Will you be my Alice?"

"I always was," Alice said in a voice thick with tears. "I always will be."

Hatter slipped the ring on her finger with a hand that shook ever so slightly. He kissed it, kissed her hand, and pulled her against him in a bone crushing hug.

"I never thought I'd have anyone to love me," he said into her hair, and she could hear he was crying. "I never thought I'd have a proper family again."

Alice rubbed his back, crying herself. "I love you, Hatter. I'll never stop loving you."

She held him till he got himself back under control, and sat back to run his arm over his eyes. Alice put her hand on his face, using her thumb to wipe away his tears while simultaneously watching the sunlight glint off the ring. It looked so right on her finger, like it had always been meant for her.

"I'm sorry," Hatter said. Alice kissed him, tasting salty tears on his lips.

"Don't be sorry. Don't ever be sorry for how you feel."

Hatter twined his fingers with hers, turning her hand so that he could see the ring too. "When you start school again, I'll be there. I'll get a job in the city and we'll be together."

"I love a man with a plan," Alice replied.

"And I love you." They kissed, and it was full of promises that they both intended to keep.

All too soon it was time to get back in the car. Doug was a stickler for being prompt and not keeping people waiting, and Hatter didn't want to get on his bad side. Not when he had to tell him he was leaving Cheshire Falls for New York, to make a life with an Oyster.

When they got back to the car, Alice looked at Hatter over the roof. "Hey. You still have the key to the Town Hall?"

Hatter grinned, and held up his key chain. "You know I do."

They shared a look mixed with mischief, desire and love, and Alice hoped he would always look at her that way. It was funny, she thought as she slid back behind the wheel, how much your life could change on one bus trip.

* * *

_**AN:**__ Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed this story! I'm so glad you liked it, and your kind words really put a smile on my face. You guys are the best!_

_Special props to my story helpers: Alaina Downs, Celticbriarrose, Kittyinaz and Smiles2Go. Go Team! Thanks also to the awesome band Hot Chelle Rae who have been very inspiring to me lately…if you haven't listened to their album Lovesick Electric, do it now!_


End file.
